Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Devils Night Blues

I hate writing letters. In contrast with this, I love beer. And Jelly Roll Morton. And Mexican food served by funny old gents with fierce push broom moustaches. Yeah Man.

I dont have too much to write about, everything's well and good on this Devils Night. I went and visited Megan and Adam in their new place last night. Its small but really nice, especially for the price theyre paying, lucky bastids. Its in a nice neighborhood in Greek Town. I got lost on the way there, but it seemed everyone walking the streets had something to say so atleast I knew I wasnt in Dullsville HA HA! HA!

A girl stopped to ask if I wanted to pet her kitten. I said yes without hesitation. It turned out she actually had a cat, in a bag, a wee one, with a jingly bell collar. I pet it, it was, you know, nice. I bought Megan a housewarming plant. Some bit of mystery flora with a thick waxy stalk and huge buds promising who knows what kind of big lovely flower things. Probably a botanist. I asked the Greek dude at the counter what it was, he shouted "7.99!" "Ah! But what is it?" "7.99!!" "What type of plant?" "Flower" "What type of flower??" "Yeah! Flower!!" "I'll take it!!!"

So I took it. I think its a lily.

A guy with a crooked nose and missing teeth was sure I was his lost daughter. I asked a lady if I was headed towards a Licks Burger (the right direction) and was immediately admonished in a bitchy old lady way. Yes I was indeed headed the right direction for "all the cholesterol you can stuff in your body before bed". I met a lady who lived under a bridge, and felt a pang of primal fear. I hope she used my money to buy booze cause thats just rough. Met some crying girls, and a guy who seemed to think I walked too fast. I love walking the street at night because I start to get that sweet swelling good feeling inside like maybe Im the barometer of sanity in this world. Which doesnt happen all the time.

I saw tiny tiny turnips. I haven't carved a pumpkin yet. Theres a contest at work for pumpkin carving, the theme is "Dead Mans Party". A zombie in a party hat would be my contribution. Straight forward but room for funkiness. I dunno. But now Ill lose in every amount of certainty. I cant find my man-eyed lady glasses. Maybe tomorrow morning.

Poop.

It sounds like theres someone standing just outside my apartment door eating handfuls of really crispy lettuce....

Now for some strange chicks singing festive tunes!

The Shaggs - It's Halloween

Sonic Youth - Halloween

Catpower - Werewolf

Zombina and the Skeletons - Zombie Hop


John Carpenters "The Thing" Soundtrack

Monday, October 22, 2007

Cookies Cookies Cookies!

Imma bakin' some cookieeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!

Kristy bought me this wee tiny set of cookie cutters and chocolate molds today! They are cute to an extreme degree. She also purchased for my enjoyment and her tummy, a set of snowflake cookie cutters with all different shapes so you can cut out small sections and make your own snowflake designs! Its a bit early for that though so I just used the tiny wee ones tonight. I whipped up a few batches of lemon sugar cookies, enough to feed a pint size army. The dough is simple and with the brothers help on the grater it was in a stack of nice neat pats in about 15 minutes. I also made a tiny thumb print sort of cookie with a chocolate chip pushed down into the middle. Some sprinkles, and voila. One batch was just sacrificed as garnish on my fatherdears bowl of ice cream it seems...

Heres the recipe if you're interested.

Lemon Sugar Cookies

2 cups unbleached all purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/4 teaspoons grated lemon peel
1 1/4 grated tangerine peel or orange peel
3/4 cup sugar
1 large egg

Sift flour, baking powder and salt into medium bowl. Using electric mixer, beat butter, lemon and orange zest, and sugar and beat until fluffy. Beat in egg. Using spoon, stir dry ingredients into the wet until mixture forms dough (dough will be soft). Divide dough into thirds. Gather each third into ball; flatten into disks. Wrap each disk in plastic and refrigerate until firm, about 4 hours. (Can be prepared 2 days ahead. Keep refrigerated. Let soften slightly, if necessary, before rolling out.)

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Generously flour work surface and rolling pin. Place 1 dough disk on work surface (keep remaining 2 dough disks refrigerated). Roll out dough to 1/8- to 1/4-inch thickness, frequently lifting and turning dough to prevent sticking. Cut out cookies. Transfer cookies to ungreased nonstick baking sheets, spacing 1/2 inch apart. Gather dough scraps together and reserve.

Repeat for reserved balls of dough.

Bake until cookies turn brown on edges, about 15 minutes. Let cookies stand on sheets 1 minute. Using metal spatula, transfer cookies to racks and cool completely.


MmMMmMmMmcookies

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Costume Ideas part 2

Okay so... Im having a hard time with this. Halloween is fast approaching and I still dont know what Im going to be. This is hard dudes, this is real hard. Brainstorming with Wendy77 and her Miniscule Counterpart in Evil this evening produced several possibilities:

- Legendary Space Hobo (Tinfoil, possibly a raygun, banana peels, space box, general space hobo attire)
- A Kellogg's Mini Wheat
- A Kelloggs Space Mini Wheat
- Zombie Pop Tart
- A Vampire Toast
- El Chupacabre Cinnamon Buns
- Ghost .. Eggs
- Some combination of the evil undead and popular breakfast food
- This

(take notice at the front bum)

- Glow in the Dark bugs taped randomly to my breasts for no foreseeable reason
- I could cut off my feet and toss them at children. I wouldn't even have to dress up cause that could be scary enough on its own
- Russian sex trade worker
- A unattractive and companionless polymath with untidy hair and poor fashion sense
- Tom Cruise AND Katie Holmes together in some freakish two headed scientological monster: The TomKat
- A Bride
- Nigella Lawsons TRUE form, a MEAT GOLEM. I will wear cleavage revealing clothing, wander around carrying a lamb shank and groaning orgasmically. Horrid messy black wig, thick black eyebrows and a uppercrusty brit accent would complete the transformation perfectly. I would also make an effort to keep a bit of food stuck in my teeth all night.

Here she is licking an ice cream that her grandpa is holding for her.

- What I wanted to be last year, that old stand by, Chairman Kaga from the Iron Chef - gold cape, walk around mischievously biting a yellow bell pepper?

So hot...

OR, young Debbie Harry in her Doctor X tshirt and skin coloured tights

Hotter than anything else ever to exist on the planet earth..

Any ideas?

My Mother The Pirate


A lesser known factoid about my smother. She is a fierce pirate. It's true. She trolls the vast web of interconnected networks plundering and pillaging without remorse. She is driven by a hunger that few men know for illicitly downloaded materials. Her trophy shelf is a thick stack of freshly burned, glittering silver Dvd-r's, all neatly labelled and ready for illegal viewing! Obscure television pilots, British comedies from the 1980's long buried under piles of newer flashier torrent files, foreign films I casually mention I like that she has no interest in even ever watching will one day just magically appear on the dining room table. Nothing is safe or sacred and she shows not a shred of guilt or respect for international copyright laws. And she does it all with little more than an "FU MOFO" and a "can you go to the store and pick me up some cigarettes?". My mom is a Legend.

Dogs, for it is my mother who truly Rulez teh W3B.

Also, if any of you are interested, I have the entire collection of Mr. Beans, Dexter Season 2 and The Transporter on the way! Ill make copies.

P.S I ate an entire pizza today.


P.S.S Bobby what kind of cake do you want for your birthday? Do you like lemon???

P.S.S.S.S.S I painted a monk on a chicken boat playing a mean keyboard solo, Ill take a picture of it after I have digested this pizza and can move again.

Also last night I bought C.S Lewis's Space Trilogy, with its wicked 'old school' sci fi covers! And the bible of French house wives throughout the ages, La Bonne Cuisine. Its written by a prim old French broad named Madame St. Ange and she sternly dictates to you exactly how it is you are going to go about making a souffle without deviating even slightly from the recipe in front of you for fear of stinky french armpit death or something. Yay! Im so stupid and so broke now! Hahaha. But now I will be fat and happy with my head all full of funny spacetime concepts!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Oh, My Stella

Yeah I had something stellar to post today and wont you believe it, its plum gone out my head. Not much life stuff to update. We finally went out and got some groceries so CHEESE IS IN DA HOUSE YALL. Wiggedy wack. Gonna make some I dunno, nachos or someshit later on maybe. Life is full of possibilities when a girl has cheese. Its rainy out and the sky's getting dark, Im not wearing any pants. Life is good.

Im starting to plan my halloween costume. A very serious affair, as you must know. I laid in bed last night and for hours just spewed out ideas while Cory grunted in delight or disgust and then irritation and then anger and then the physical abuse started and it was time for Karas SleepyTime.

These are my top 5, thus far.

1. The Man Eyed Lady (Me, with glasses with mens eyes taped where the lenses are)

2. Fascist Dictator of North Korea and Supreme Commander of the Korean Peoples Army, Kim Jong Il (me, hair slicked back and dyed black, military shirt and a bag of nukes)












3. Kim Jong Il as James Bond (Me, hair slicked back and dyed black, fake tuxedo shirt, bag of nukes, a martini and I will routinely order Hot Chicks to be making out with me)

4. An elbow macaroni

5. That little girl in V for Vendatta who wears the Guy Fawkes mask and gets shot while shes spray painting and wall and incites the riots

I know, any of these would conjure more than enough spook and specter, but I want to be thoroughly chilling.. Ill think of it yet.

Stuff for you!

I have a whole half a pumpkin cheesecake in my fridge, someone please come help eat this motherfucker.

And heres some Talking Heads.

And this Interpol song I heard along time ago and forgot about and just found again now looking for the Talking Heads and it rocks so much. Also sounds a lot like the pixies.. hmm..

and

Mmm, the Goonies!

Now, Im off to make pina colada popsicles!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Grizzly Bear

Del, ishus

Some weird and quite racist Betty Boop cartoons.

"Making Stars" banned Betty Boop Cartoon


"Betty Boop: MD"



"Betty Boop's Halloween Party"



And some sweet Mos Def and DJ Shadow video featuring angry japanese people making out.

Louis Armstrong


Todays blog post is going to be all about Louis Armstrong. That's right, Pops, Sweet Papa Dip, the great Satchmo. Why? WHY THE FUCK NOT?!!!!!

Its been a while since I have posted any recipes on here, so here is a couple I just found that look pretty yummy. Also, if you've ever fancied yourself the host of a Louis Armstrong themed dinner party, you're in luck!

Louis Armstrong's Spicy Pepper Cornbread

  • 3 cups yellow cornmeal
  • 1 cup cream-style corn
  • 1 teaspoon sugar
  • 2 teaspoons salt
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1 cup vegetable oil
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 3/4 cup milk
  • 1/2 cup chopped jalapeno peppers
Mix all ingredients in a large bowl and pour in a 9- by 13-inch ungreased pan. Bake in preheated oven at 350 for 30 minutes.

And to go with that:

Louis Armstrong's Red Beans and Rice

  • 1 pound kidney beans (sorted, rinsed and soaked, see below)
  • 1/2 pound salt pork (slab bacon may be used if preferred)
  • 1 small can of tomato sauce (if desired)
  • 6 small ham hocks or one smoked pork butt
  • 2 onions, diced
  • 1/4 green (bell) pepper
  • 5 tiny or 2 medium dried peppers
  • 1 clove of garlic, chopped
  • salt to taste
Wash beans thoroughly, then soak overnight in cold water. Be sure to cover beans. To cook, pour water off beans, add fresh water to cover. Add salt pork or bacon and let come to a boil over full flame in (5-quart) covered pot [or dutch oven]. Turn flame down to slightly higher than low and let cook 1 1/2 hours. Add diced onions, bell pepper, garlic, dried peppers, and salt.

Cook 3 hours.

Add tomato sauce and cook 11/2 hours more, adding water whenever necessary. Beans and meat should always be just covered with liquid, never dry.

Apparently you serve all this with a big pot of coffee and voila, just like Louis, baby.

Some Quotable Quotes a la Louis:

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard a horse sing a song.
- Louis Armstrong


We all do 'do, re, mi,' but you have got to find the other notes yourself.
- Louis Armstrong


If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.
- Louis Armstrong


You blows who you is.
- Louis Armstrong

Heres a nice little ditty he did with Ella Fitzgerald, the cutest woman in the world.



Here are a couple more samples of Ol' Louis.

La Vie en Rose - Louis Armstrong

What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong vs. Radiohead

Im too lazy to find any more awesomeness, so thats all you get! GREEDY

Now if youll excuse me Im off to eat an entire focaccia bread I stole from work, wahaha


Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Tit, or Tat?

Which would be more terrifying to discover in the woods, a dismembered arm or a dismembered leg? A leg would be scary to find because then you think.. crikey mate, theres something lurking in these here parts that can take a leg off ya! Which would be scary. But an arm is scary too because it has fingers and seems even more human. Is an arm more human than a leg? If I found a severed human head in the woods, I would shit in my pants. If I found an eyeball I would scream and scream and probably do some running the way opposite the direction the eyeball is looking. If I found a foot though I would be blase, unconcerned, barely phased. Its just a foot.. So I think the closer the body part is to the brain the more human it is and thusly the more shit you will have in your pants if you find it laying in the woods. I would like to investigate this theory in a more thorough and scientific way then just running it through my imagination. I cant, for say, imagine of my reaction to finding a human brain amongst the flora. This matter must be resolved. Anyone interested in helping me forge new paths in the name of science, meet me in the patch of woods behind my parents house, not by the creek, further in, way back where the trees start to block out all the sunlight.

Also. I bought a chocolate phone. WTF, omg.