Monday, December 10, 2007

Grumblebutts

God Im in a shit mood aren't I.

Yeah I am. What the shit. I just can't be fucked. I just spent an hour and a hundred dollaridoos buying christmas pressies online and that was a miserable affair. And buying presents is my FAVOURITE THING! Ive been grumbling and irritated for 2 days. Faking inner sunshine for work and being exhausted. Im working too much. Its not even hard work, but standing on my feet and forcing myself to be pleasent to people I would rather watch be eaten by a pack of hyenas is really tiring dude. Bah fuckin humbug! I know, blah blah blah, stop your whining and all that.. just had to get it out of my system.

AND MY INTERNET IS SO SHIT! GAAAAAAAH 50 DOLLARS A MONTH FOR THIS BULLSHIT!

CRIMINAL!


CRIMINAL!!!

Im actually shouting that. I hope I dont alert anyone into a false pretense of believing there is actual criminal activity afoot. Oh well, there probably is, anyway.

So yeah, christmas pressents. Im working on a limited budget, and Im still spending too much. They arent even stellar presents. For christ sakes, I bought my dad a package of astronaut icecream. A very good indicator of the level Im working on this year. I always want to tell people what there presents are, its a nasty habit. I have nastier ones, but this ones irritating to me. The foul stench constantly streaming from my ass at all hours accompanied by raucous trumpeting, I can live with. So, I'm trying to hold it in-- the secrets, not the farts, thats unhealthy-- but the metaphorical architect who built the dam to hold the reservoir of secrets inside of me was a drunkard, an ethically unsound man, and hopelessly experimental. My dam is made out of silly putty and baby bellybuttons and faerie wings and puppydog scrotums and Dr Pepper bottle caps and will bust open at any sign of strain or distraction from its duty. Maybe thats what all those farts are about... farts are hilarious.

So yeah, whoever you are, reading this, now, I can almost guarantee youre getting no festive packages from my broke scroogy ass this year, and if you do, you may as well hadnt.

I really wish I had a scanner cause I have some really crappy doodles I would love to fill in all this blank space with waaaahhhhhhh.

I dont really have much to share, maybe I will tomorrow. After work, of course. I cant wait til christmas, December is dragging in this middle part. It needs a nice end.

Florp

Im eating granola and its getting everywhere. It tastes like wooden marshmallows. Mmmmm.

3 comments:

Amandazzle said...

Yeah it's definitely a shit time of december. It's like Christmas get the fuck over here already. Sometimes at work I am finding myself being almost blatantly rude because I'm so sick of people's stupid ass requests and bothering me and treating me like a slave all damn day. Fuckers. Why do people go to restaurants and expect servants? That's not my job! I'll get you your shit when I can, and until then you wait mothah fuckaaahs! heh heh Yeah I have to work on my fake happy. It's getting a little lazy. On the bright side! Party friday! Yay!

Karalalala said...

I KNOWWWWWWW I feel the SAME OH GODDDDD I just want to cram their gourmet food down their needy bothersome, petty, rich cunt throats!!!

AHHHHHHH

Also, if you read this, Im going to be so late for your party.

Wendy77 said...

They call it the 'service' industry for a reason.