Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Old Goats Oats

It's dark in the sky and white on the ground and warm in my kitchen. I'm making cookies! I'm making cookies while I should be at work! Haha! Even better. In this month's issue of Gourmet Magazine, they compiled the very best cookie recipes from each decade from the 1940's until now. So very cool, here is a link to it.

Gourmet's Favourite Cookies

Yesterday I had an hour to spare and spent it making up the dough for 1943's Scotch Oat Crunches. Tonight in my spare hour, I'm baking them up in the shape of tiny teapots, very fat little wiener dogs and stars. Currently I am eating a great deal of the first batch smeared with fig jam, because in my soul I am 82 years old.


Scotch Oat Crunches

Cream 1 cup butter until it is almost white; gradually add 1 cup light brown sugar, and keep on creaming until the two are thoroughly blended. Combine 2 1/2 cups pastry flour and 1/2 teaspoon each of baking powder and salt; sift twice into a dry mixing bowl, then stir in 2 1/2 cups rolled, sieved oats. When this mixture is thoroughly blended, add to it alternately that of the creamed butter and 1/2 cup cold water to which has been added 2 or 3 drops almond extract and 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract. Chill for at least 25 minutes.

Roll out a portion of the dough about 1/8 inch thick, or as thin as it can be rolled on a slightly floured board. Cut in rounds about 2 inches in diameter; lift these with a broad spatula onto a generously buttered baking sheet, and bake for 10 minutes in a moderate oven (350°F.), or until the cookies are slightly browned. Cool and store in a cookie jar. They will keep indefinitely in a cool, dry place. When ready to use, spread a filling on one cookie and top it with another, and eat immediately.

Initially I thought these would spread, but they definitely dont, my wee wiener dog's less than svelte silhouette is clearly defined. The first batch was a big underbaked and just turned to oatmeal in my mouth which wasnt very pleasing. The second batch baked up with golden edges and are crispy.

That's it for now, I have to go to work!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

We Call It Brotherly Love

Also this made me laugh. Just once, but it was a good one.

Also this is crazy.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Andy Warghoul

Um, Like Your Smile is Totally Ruling Me Right Now - Japanther

Starstruck - The Kinks

The Philosophy of The World - The Shaggs

The Chair That Squeeks - Rapture

Let's Go Get Stoned - Ray Charles

Bees - Caribou

People, why aren't you rioting in the streets? Before this year is over I may have to start some shit. For now, I am content to bake and eat too many cookies. I'm pissed though, make no mistake. I just watched a terrific program on art stuff, The Mona Lisa Curse. More specifically it was about the problems with contemporary art. My god it felt good to hear someone very intelligently say out loud what I have been thinking and boring people with for five years. However, it was very depressing. I had to look at dogs in halloween costumes for a full half hour to calm down from my state of completely rational but unfocused rage. I really wish I could use my words more gooder than I do, because I would be a great art critic. As it stands now shouting "FUCK this shit!" doesn't cut it. Fuck you, shark in a tank. Fuck you unmade bed. Fuck you turd in a glass box. Fuck you Campbells fucking tomato fucking soup. You are symptoms of a fatal disease. Begone, thee horrid manifestations of empty minds and greedy pockets. Argh! Angst! Burn it all!



Kara's Favourite
Makes 5 dozen

4 oz (4 squares) bittersweet chocolate

1½ cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
½ cup unsalted butter

4 eggs
1½ cups sugar

2 tablespoons instant expresso powder or instant coffee granules
2 tsp vanilla 3/4 cup flour ½ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt 1½ cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350F. In a medium saucepan, slowly melt unsweetened chocolate, the first chocolate chips and butter over low heat, stirring occasionally, not allowing the mixture to bubble.

In a large mixing bowl, beat eggs, sugar and coffee granules until eggs are pale and yellow. Add vanilla.

Separately, stir together the dry ingredients. When the melted chocolate is smooth and still hot, fold it into egg mixture, then fold in flour mixture. Add the mini chocolate chips and stir. Let batter stand for 15 minutes.

To form cookies, use one spoon to scoop out about half a spoon of dough, a second spoon to scrape the dough onto a baking sheet, twelve cookies per sheet to allow for spreading.

Bake 8 – 10 minutes until puffed and shiny on top. Do not over bake.

Have you carved your turnip yet? No? You fail.

Wahaha! Sinister.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Oh My Gourdness!

Mon Dieu - Edith Piaf

Not Going Anywhere - Keren Ann

Autumn Leaves - Eva Cassidy

It's so lovely outside. Smells like wood and leaves and very crisp air, mmmdang. When this weather comes along it makes me crave my Nanny's "mush" so badly. I knew it was coming, so I prepared earlier in the week and bought a turnip, some potatoes, a big ol bag of carrots and some of the cutest onions I have seen all year. And tonight I set about, making mush!

Nanny's Mush

5 carrots
3 large potatoes
1 turnip

Roughly chop every thing up and boil until tender. Drain. Mash it all up with a little butter, salt and pepper.

Carmelized Onions

6 small onions or 3 large
2 Tbsp butter
2 tbsp oil

Heat butter and oil in a thick bottomed pan. Add onions and a pinch of sugar and salt and slowly cook over medium heat. Cook until onions are caramel coloured, this could take 30 minutes to an hour depending on how long youre willing to wait. I like doing it for an hour.

I just returned from running to the store because this meal cannot be eaten without fresh white bread. On my merry jaunt home with a baguette slung under one arm and a pomegranate in my hand I stopped to shoot the shit with some neighborhoodlums. Said hello to the owner of the second hand shop who looked like a fat and contended owl in his round rim glasses, sitting in front of his halloween racks. Got molested in the street by a couple coworkers who had just finished closing up shop. And now, Im home, and its warm and the apartment is spotlessly clean and filled with the smell of carmelized onions. I'm a happy girl.

Mush, fresh bread, carmelized onions, and the thing to complete it- a whiskey and gingerale. This meal is my nan, and eating it makes me happy and sad and comfortable all at the same time. And hungry. So Im gonna shut the hell up and eat this. This makes enough for 4 or 5 people by the way. Or just one person, over the course of 3 or 4 days, wa ha ha ha!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Dans Le Toilette de Dianne

Wachooouoooo I wish I could sneeze a rainbow cloud friend out of my unicorn penis too. How could anything be happier. Anyway. Instead of my homework Im going to listen to THIS MUSIC

Why Can't I Touch It? - The Buzzcocks

Hometown Unicorn - Super Furry Animals

Lily and Parrots - Sun Kil Moon

Think Locally, Fuck Globally - Gogol Bordello

Moustache TV - Atom And His Package

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - The Smiths

And make THIS recipe! HA! Take that, succeeding in life!

Chocolate and Lemon Madeleines
from Chocolate Desserts by Pierre Herme/Dorie Greenspan

1/2 cup + 1 tbsp (70 g) all-purpose flour
3 1/2 tbsp. Dutch-processed cocoa powder, preferably Valrhona
1/2 tsp. double-acting baking powder
1/3 cup + 2 tbsp (90 g) sugar
pinch of salt

grated zest of 1/4 lemon
2 large eggs - at room temperature
6 1/2 tbsp (100 g) unsalted butter - at room temperature

Sift together flour, cocoa powder and baking powder. Set aside. Put the sugar, salt and lemon zest into a bowl and rub everything together with your fingertips until the sugar is moist, grainy and very aromatic.

Using a whisk beat the eggs into the lemon-sugar until the mixture is blended. Squish the butter through your fingers to create what is called a pomade and add it into the bowl. Still whisking, beat in the butter just to get it evenly distributed. Gently whisk in the sifted flour, stirring only until the flour is incorporated and the mixture is smooth. Press a piece of plastic wrap against the surface of the batter and chill it overnight before baking.

When you are ready to bake the cookies, center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 425F (220C). Butter a 12-mold madeleine pan, than dust the molds with flour, tapping out the excess.

Divide the batter evenly among the madeleine molds. Place the pan in the oven, insert wooden spoon in the door to keep it slightly ajar, and immediately turn the oven temperature down to 350F (180C). Bake the cookies for 13 to 15 minutes, or until they are domed and spring back when pressed lightly. Unmold the cookies onto a work surface than transfer them to a rack to cool to room temperature.

Madeleines can be kept at room temperature in an airtight tin for about 2 days or frozen for up to 2 weeks.

Pierre Herme tip:
An overnight rest in the refrigerator is what gives these madeleines their characteristic bump in the center. If you’re in a hurry, chill them for an hour - you won’t get as pronounced a bump, but cookies will bake better for the chill.

Sweet Christ there is one of those Lolcats things for everything, even vague Proustian references.

In Other News: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


Holy shaz, the government just sent me $150 for no foreseeable reason! It obviously hasnt been listening to what I've been saying behind it's back. Nice! Time to go score some drugs!

Its just after 1 and I'm skipping math class to write this. Well, I did go to math class but I just absolutely murdered a test and had to hightail it out of there. Fucking math! So now Im home and overwhelmed again. I had a most needed fantastic Thanksgiving weekend but spent it mostly dicking off with the fam and laying on the dog and baking all sorts of stuff thaaaaat I did no homework. And now Im in a dire situation. Oops. Oh well, I do what I want and the consequences are my own. God I'm a jackass at times.

I have some great recipes from Thanksgiving to put up here but Im too lazy to unpack my bags and find them so fuck you, I'll do it later. Now I quickly bang up two projects worth 20% and 60% of my marks respectively before work. Woo, Bloody, Hoo. But first, some toast.


Saturday, October 4, 2008

With a Hee and a Ho

Kara at School and Work!

Kara for the couple of hours a day she is not at school or work.

Southpark has helped me express my inner turmoil. Least it can fuckin do, really!
Listen to this stuff, it will make the snake in your stomach get up and join the circus. The circus of CRIME!

Little Richard - Hurry Sundown.mp3

Garnet Mimms - As Long As I Have You.mp3

Tennessee Ernie Ford - Call of the Wild Goose.mp3

Wanda Jackson - Funnel of Love.mp3

Chris Kenner - Sick and Tired.mp3

Billie Holiday & Lester Young - When You're Smiling.mp3

Most of these were plucked from the branches of the gnarled old sexy tree that is Spread The Good Word!

Check it out, it's so most excellent.

By the way, that snake chick is apparently Princess Python, a.k.a Zelda DuBois, "on and off member of the Ringmaster and his Circus of Crime... Former member of the Clown Masters of Menace, Serpent Squad, and the Serpent Society." According to Eric Gilette she has a SpiderMan Fear Rating of 1....Bad. Ass.

After listening to this stuff for an hour and doing a bit of dancing about in my underpants, I feel gooood man. Real gooood. Gonna sleep! CPR course bright and early in the morning. So next time your heart stops upon being sos truck by my beauteous self, I can get it going again. Don't worry so much about it. Handled. Goodnight stinkwads!

Yeah Man Its Cool

I don't know why people do these things.....

Apparently you've all seen this before, but just in case.. Quality. We made bread in class today! I took home 2 loaves of delicious white bread and a huge bag of cloverleaf buns for a couple bucks. Theres nothing more sexy in the world than fresh baked breading cooling on a wire rack. Oh wait yes there is-- its my new skill of cracking an egg with one hand! Fuckjesus I'm Pro now! YeeeAAARGH!

Gosh.. I've had a really lovely evening of cleaning with no pants on and singing loudly along with Mr. Jeff Buckley. We can both belt it out pretty much the same. We're good. Maybe Im a little better, but he's dead, Ive had more practice, I won't split hairs. I love my brother to death and dying but its REALLY nice to spend an evening in my favourite manner: the without pants manner.

Anyway its 1am and I have to get up for work at 6am and theres only 5 am's between them so I got to fold up my leaflets and petals and become periodically dormant during the absence of light!

Goodnight, sexpots

Friday, October 3, 2008

Sleepy Buns

Ha ha ha ha ha. I just typed BIG FAT WEINER in capital letters into google images and pressed enter. That is picture number one! It pleases me.

I'm tired THUS therefore I'm typing in grey. Oh how the frustration was mounting today! But its amazing how the simple act of someone else washing the dishes for you while you're at work can clear that out. Feels good in my stomachular area. Thankyou my dear!

Speaking of stomacheses, mines fucking crammed with buns. Buns I MADE! We started on breads this week. Soft rolls tied in a variety of knots. Scrumptious. I would post the recipe here now but its all in grams and I know that can be annoying if you're a By The Cup kinda person so when I make them again for myself I'll convert it and put it up. I'm doing really well in baking class. During I am dead focused and don't even notice the 4 hours pass. Afterwards there is almost a buzz when I leave and take off my hat and jacket, have a product in my hand and know I spent my day really well. And then I go to work, POO!

No I like that too.. I'm just really tired. Anyway, I should go to bed. GoodnighT!

Ane Brun - Lullabye for Grown-Ups

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Hum Buggery


It's raining and everything is so expensive and I have to write a math test in an hour. I HAVE to study but Im just staring out the window thinking about squirrels and how to make a cake with popping candy in it.
I think I'll have to put it in a ganache. Otherwise it will pop. Im not fond of today. I feel so stressed out. Someone come please do my dishes. The permanent odour of rot in here is going to push me off the edge. Bahhhhh.. I can't get organized, I don't have 10 minutes to myself. Except right now. So Im writing this. To get these thoughts out of me and lock them securely into this boring little blog. Blog blog blorgh.

I shouldn't complain because I love both school and work. Freakishly I dont even mind math.. It's just too much of a good thing sometimes, working full time and going to school. Money is stressful. I dont want to ride my bike in the rain. But on the bright side B-Bot got a job yesterday! As a fishmonger at a supermarket! Yayyyy! CONGRATS DUUUUUUDE!

Its pouring ridiculously hard outside. All I want to do is curl up in bed and read Wolverine comics and listen to The Smiths. But I have to go.. if I survive, I will write something with more sunshine in it later. For now, fuck it!

Cat Power - Schizophrenia's Weighted Me Down

The Smiths - Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want

RJD2 - Rain

Monday, September 29, 2008



Friday, September 19, 2008

Im Just So Angerous

My brother just told me, he isnt eating the yogurt in the fridge, because it is fruit bottom, and its too much work to stir it.

That makes me want to punch him in the face until he is dead.

ALSO I just bought cookbooks on Amazon. Internet buying is so dangerous.

ALSO I love putting pillows on my cat. Its so good. She looks extra cute. She is completely unfazed that there is a huge ol pillow just on her. Thats so good.

ALSO Cory is going to open a hamburger joint called "Turtle Burgers".

ALSO a flying buttress, or arc-boutant, is a specific type of buttress usually found on a religious building such as a cathedral. They are used to transmit the horizontal thrust of a vault across an intervening space (which might be an aisle, chapel or cloister), to a buttress outside the building.

ALSO thats a hilarious word.

ALSO it seems everything is really funny. And I was mad before. But then I looked at the cat with a pillow on her, an thought about turtle burgers, and the word "buttresses". Ahh man..

NOW Im going to go put a huge pillow on The Brother to see if that is funny too!


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Cous Cous in my Caboose

Cous Cous, in my caboose! Cous Cous, let it loose!

Del Tha Funkee Homosapien - Soopa Feen

JJ Grey and Mofro - Tragic
Black Moth Super Rainbow - Boatfriend
Gruff Rhys - Gwn Mi Wn
The Dead Science - Days of Future's Past

Well not really because I just ate it. That chant will only be accurate in a couple of hours. Im so addicted to this stuff. But Im crap at making it. If anyone has a decent cous cous recipe, please, by all means, send it my way!

I'm working on finding some kind of thing for this blog where you, my loyal millions of readers, (Hi Mom!), can leave a little note on the right hand side about your favourite bakery. I'm compiling a list and eventually I want to visit most of them. But the good ones first! So Ill figure out how to do that..

Anyway, in other news, Im still tired. But! Im going to sleep now. Work last night was exciting because I made the lemon curd! My favourite thing in the foodshop and IIII made it! It was awesome! Its so cool to come into work and see croissants that I rolled and lemon tarts that I had a hand in making. Feels good. I feel stong, and like I cant learn enough things fast enough. Ahhhh.. Good stuff.. anyway, sleep now, good blog times later. Ciao babies!


Friday, September 12, 2008

ooohh boy what have I done

Holy crap. Am I ever freakin' tired. There are literally, LITERALLY no joke, bags under the bags under my eyes. I think I have bitten off more croissant than I can chew going to school 7-3 and working 5 til midnight every day.. faaahkkkkk.. and this is only day #2...

Anyway aside from being achey and REALLY happy to be sitting in bed right now the last week has been so busy, so fun, so full of learning, dropping things, butter, and just... so much standing. Oh god. I'm off to lay with my feet in the air to let all the blood drain out of them.. see you.. sometime.......

Also I discovered burritos rock my world and I'm allergic to papaya. Ay ay ay!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

How ya like them apples?

Madolyn, if you're reading this, this is for you...

Today I went to work and ended up in a parade. My shoes are still full of wee white confetti's. I made poached rainbow trout with dill sauce, peaches and cream corn, beans and fresh ciabatta for my two lovely gentlemen for dinner tonight. It was freaking delicious. Im sleepy. Im going to see how far I can stick a Toblerone bar in my mouth and then see if I cant have some dreams about a giant sundae and Che Guevara. He was one hot mama. I could use a couple hours lost in a sexy communist ice cream extravaganza. Frooooom...

Oh also the Bro-Bot showed me this ages ago, a new idea for a Reality TV Show!

Ivor Cutler - Eagle.mp3

Friday, September 5, 2008


Julienne More!

Amanda Lear - Alphabet.mp3

New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream.mp3

Chubby Checker - Stoned In The Bathroom.mp3

The First Gear - Leave My Kitten Alone.mp3


Man.. I have the alphabet stuck in my head. Thats fucked up shit. Christ its annoying. Every so often I catch myself singing quietly "pqrstuv.. w x y and z".. GAH

Also. This Kitten is a problem. She's so fluffy. I can't handle it all the time. She's always laying around with her paws flopped over her big old furry belly and I just cant help but grab her around the middle and shake her all about. I'm going to injure this cat. I see a fat belly, I want to grab it and shake it around. Megan brought her baby Kalie over yesterday and the whole time I was restraining myself from just lunging and grabbing this pretty little frog shaped bean of a baby by its belly and shaking it wildly to and fro. I just want to pick up these cute chubby things and throw them out the window. I just want to punt them like a football. It's really not a good instinct. I would be a terrible monkey mom. I would just shake and shake my monkey babies until they got the Shaken Bacon Syndrome and died. Must be a messed up paragraph in the Romance novel that is my genetic code. Maybe I shouldn't volunteer to babysit anytime soon.

I made more fruit salad today in class! That was great. I got 84% on my carrot cutting skills. Not too bad. I peeled my finger. Too bad. I have 4 litres of fruit salad in my fridge. And 7 bags of expired French chocolate covered marshmallow bears in my fridge from work. It's just a lunatic amount marshmallow and diced fruits happening here. Someone come eat these with me! NOW

What else... uhhh nothing, really. Tomorrow is the Cabbagetown Festival, and I'm working, so its gonna be fecking crazy.

I'm thinking of cutting my hair short for school. Not short short, more like mid nineties teen heart throb Devon Sawa short. Yeah I think I can reclaim that look for myself. That creamy skin, that rogueish smile.. ah to be 13 again..

OH ALSO I'm learning about all these awesome places to go and eat baked goods and icecream, being in a class of 20-40 sweet addicts. I'm compiling a list and sometime this month I will post it, along with websites and addresses.

Sneak Peak:

The Marble Slab

The girls in class told me you go into this place, and theres mixings and fixings and chocolate everywhere. You pick your flavour of icecream, which is just icecream-- like the rocky road is chocolate and vanilla or whatever, the bubblegum is just pink--and THEN you pick all these things from the walls, your nuts your chocolates your god knows, sourballs and shit, and THEN

Heres where it gets fucking wild.

They take your icecream and smear it willy nilly all over this marble slab. And you're standing there watching, worried, panicking thing wtf are they doing with my icecream.. and they pile all your fixings on, and then mix i
t all up with metal spatulas and stick it on your cone! Its apparently the only way to eat icecream.

Awesome. I feel a Road Trip to New Market coming on..

ALSO I have found my Halloween Costume.

Thursday, September 4, 2008


I have such a thing for green glass... mm..

School was awesome today! KNIFE SKILLZ! I'm actually pretty comfortable with a knife, cuttin vegetables anyway. If I ever had to bone a fish I'd be in trouble. And desperate, I could do better, really...

Anyway.. Today we made fruit salad! I learned awesome techniques for cutting kiwi. You peel the skin down to the bottom and dont cut the line of peel off, continue all the way around until its wearing its own skin as a skirt. Then hold on to its skirt, quarter and slice the little bitch up!! CRAZY!

I learned how to cut carrots into julienne, brunoise, and dice, en dee, and mire poix, and batonettes! Tomorrow, I do it again!

Few things in life are as awesome as octopus hotdogs...

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

End of Confusion, Return of Inspiration

Good Crikey Im bushwacked! I mean I am just tuckered, pooped, knackered, kippered, pickled and plum slumberous.

My day was sooo good today. Even if it was just mostly going over course outlines. It felt good standing there in my cheffin' uniform, paying attention, taking NOTES even! I'm so damn keen.

I must tuck myself in now though because Ive to be up bright and early for Baking Theory followed by Baking Skillzzz where Chef Gonzales is gonna teach us knife skills! How to take care of our knives, and how to jullien, bernaise, and make awesome fruit salad without fingers or blood as garnish! KNIFE SKILLS!


Supergrass - Return of Inspiration.mp3

Yann Tiersen - Pas Se Simple.mp3

Apes & Androids - Creepy Girls.mp3

Muddy Waters - Mad Love (I Want You To Love Me).mp3

The Zombies - Is This The Dream.mp3

First Day Jitter Bugs

Okay, so, its my second day, and I'm already skipping class. As I type. Class is happening somewhere else. Not where I am. I am here. There is no class here. Oh. I'm a bad student!

I know I said Id blog about my first day! But it really wasn't much, just math class which was surprisingly good, then a fire alarm, and then Intro to Wine class was cancelled. And moved to today. At 8am. Hence the skippage. I'm not adverse to getting up at six but I couldnt sleep again til so late and I refused to be a zombie today for my FIRST BAKING SKILLS CLASS! WOOO!

So sacrifices had to be made!

Anyway, I'll tell you how it went today! IM SO EXCITED! Now Im off to drink eat some banana chips! Taroo!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Monday, September 1, 2008

Buzzard Custard

Oy veh. I have the biggest knot in my stomach. I'm hoping it goes away by tomorrow. Im going to write a blog about stuff to distract me from my anxiety about math class.

I've been having interesting dreams lately. Last night I dreamed I was Angelina Jolie working on a movie where I, Angelina, play some sort of ancient kinda roman soldier chick fighting a group of party animals in a submarine for some reason. I, she, we, were wearing this crazy gold roman suit with a red velvet cape and metal boots. Kind of Xena Warrior Princess meets 2,000 Leagues Under The Sea meets that scene in Alpha Dog where Ben Foster starts doing crazy kung fu at a party?

Recollection is hazy, but I remember kissing my opponents with my huge squishy Jolie lips before brutally murderizing them. It was a very vivid sensation.

The other most memorable dream this week actually made me late for work. I lived on Mars in the late 23rd century and Iggy Pop had just sent me a space invitation to be part of his massive intergalactic reunion tour. I had gained some notoriety around 2050 a.d on smaller planets who didn't get Universal Televisual Satellite for my raucous stage antics and he wanted me to put on a good show. I go where Iggy Pop beckons. Anyway, it didnt actually end up happening because I was getting a ride from my dad's space shuttle and he was over a year and a half late, and the journey back to earth took atleast 3 years providing there's no solar flares or much meteor traffic. So that was a bust. And then my alarm went off and I had to literally run to work.

I blame too much futurama for that last one.. it was a great dream though, very colourful and glittery. Things both dreams have in common.. celebrities.. an unusual form transportation.. shiny metal.. kicking ass.. I'm not Freud but that sounds okay to me!

I feel like this right now.. I feel facedown.. Not sure what that means, but there it is! Flomp.

The Day Before

*scholar scholar scholar*

Holy smokes, I cant believe my first day of school is tomorrow!! Waaaahhhhhhh

It's wholly strange, having to go to school again, for some reason. I'm so, feckin, excited. I just wish my first class at chef school wasn't going to be math. But then thats followed by Intro To Wine so that should wash away any math brain abrasions I will have sustained in the 2 hours of extrapolation and quantifying. Wash it away with sweet burgundy joy...

Last night at midnight the Bro-Bot and I went on a mad hunt for nice bread so we could have a lazy day highlighted with delicious french toast, whipped cream and peaches. But everything that sells fresh bread is closed at midnight! Travesty. So we shall have to settle for peaches and pancakes.

C-Section got into a fight on his first night at The Courthouse. He was just at the hospital for ages waiting for his fellow bouncer who got schlogged in the noggin. Just kept repeating the same question for 4 hours aparently, forgetting that he had asked it. The fight broke up when C. whipped out his 21" steel extendable baton and they scattered. Ya know, I made fun of him for buying that a couple of days ago, but thank god. Also it looks pretty fuckin badass, which is hot. So thats exciting..

Brother B and I went -- HOLY FUCK THE KITTEN FUCKING STINKS. Holy jesus. Wow. An impressive waft. Wow. Maybe I should change her food... thats not a smell that should come out of such a small animal. Anyway. We went back to school shopping together, which was fun, and I got sweet new steel toe'd boots and a backpack with slots for my knives. I LOVE that my back to school supplies are steel toes shoes and knives. Won't be afraid walking home up Sherbourne thats for sure. Actually I probably still will be...

Waiting in line at the grocery store carrying cumin, bananas, banana chips and soy milk Bobby randomly asked me what I was thinking about and I said "Sippy Cups. I saw a sippy cup, and just kept saying sippy cup in my head over and over for a little while. And then I laughed in my head to myself." I thought it was an apt moment for him to ask. Good insight into my mind. An echoeous cavern.

Echoeous is a word! What the shit!

Anyway, thats whats been happening, just wanted to write it down so I could read it later and remember and chuckle and the ol' memories being made. I'll tell you how school went tomorrow. WOOOOOOHOOO

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Beorge Grown

OKAY SO I have a lot to bllllerg about but Im so goddamn tuckered I really don't think I can manage. I'm typing this to see how long I can go and if I manage to say anything I'd like to by coincidence while doing so.

Today I had my orientation day at George Brown and Im so fecking excited Ive just been dancing about like a moron wearing my chef jacket since I got home. So much free stuff was given out, so many quiet nerdy Asian friends were made, so many hands were shaken. That's a chef thing, I'm told I better get used to shaking hands. Cory is going to help me practice before school starts. FUCK I'm so excited!! This is the first september out of the last 5 or 6 I will be entering without a knot in my stomach and my insides shouting "no no no don't do it!". This is where I am supposed to be.

Due to being accepted uh, pretty much at the beginning of this week, it's just been a whirlwind of stuff to do and places to go and papers to get in order. I really just cant wait to get started. I'm a little bit nervous, because I don't have a whole lot of experience but Hilary at work assured me that no one will have much if any. We will all be a bunch of ignorant bastards in silly hats. Phew.


One year will definitely not be enough. I'm hungry for more already. When I heard that George Brown has a school in India where you can go and learn to cook Indian Food I nearly fell on the floor, eyes rolling back, slobbering. peeing willy nilly all about in a fit of joy. I can't imagine anything more awesome than that. Well I can. Having a ghost as a best friend. But this is definitely #2! We'll see how it goes...

Saturday, August 23, 2008



Am I ever busy. Theres so much I should be doing right now. Fuck it. I'm hungry. I'll make this!

Mustard Butter Broccoli Pasta

Amended from PatentInThePantry

1/2 cup butter

5 tbsp. Dijon mustard

1 clove garlic, finely minced
2 crowns of broccoli
3/4 pound penne pasta H
erbs such as parsley or chives, optional

Salt and pepper

Bring a pot of water to boil, add salt and pasta. Cook until 3 minutes before pasta is al dente and then add the broccoli, and cook until finished.

Meanwhile in a small saucepan melt the butter. Add the garlic, herbs, and pepper. When pasta is tender, drain it and the broccoli and in a large bowl toss with the mustard butter dressing. Season with salt and pepper if necessary.

I made it! It was delicious, and took less than 8 minutes. So fast! Oh yes! Check out Patent in the Pantry's food blog of greatness, there's some good eating on there!

By the power of Greyskull I'm tired. I have much to tell you! But I'll do it later! I got into George Brown! I'm gonna be a good little baker girl! I'm pissing myself with joy. My chef's knife is ten shiny inches of high carbon surgical steel, baby, and Ive been stroking it and thinking of sweet stuff all night. Now I have to do my dishes. Peace out, bitches

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Ginger Snaps and Peaches

I'm just home from work and feel like a bloody zombie. Well, maybe not a bloody zombie because blood would mean they maybe found some delicious brains to snack on and are feeling pretty high on themselves. I feel like a pale, hungry zombie who wants to crawl back into her wormy hole in the ground and give death another shot. Hoping against hope that a cup of tea, a fresh peach and a couple of Ginger Crisp Biscuitswill invigorate me some. Mmm yes.

On the weekend I bought approximately 1 Buttload of Peaches. Thats the metric system, mind you. Failing at the endeavor of devouring them all in one go I decided to make a pie! But I don't really like cooked peaches... I really don't.. so I was so, like, totally stoked dude, when I found this recipe for a fresh peach tart where there is no cooking of the peaches involved. I thought it sounded a little weird at first but it came out bursting with flavour and C-Face and I got a bit Pie In The Sky and hoovered it up that night and for breakfast the next morning. Excellent cold pie, next time I will use fresh squeezed orange juice though cause I found it tasted as much like orange as it did peach. Oh well!

Fresh Peach and Orange Pie
Courtesy of

Serves 8

1 pre-baked pie crust


Water to cover
6 peaches
1/2 cup sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
Zest of an orange
1 cup orange juice (fresh-squeezed is wonderful)
1 tablespoon butter
1 teaspoon almond extract


1 cup whipping cream
2 tablespoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon almond extract

Bring water to boil in a saucepan. Two or three at a time, drop peaches into boiling water for 1 minute. Remove with slotted spoon, let cool. Slice to the pit lengthwise, slip off skins. Slice each half into six pieces, then halve the pieces.

*** OR do what I do and just score the bottom of each peach and then in a large bowl, pour boiling water from your electric kettle over the peaches and let them sit for 2-3 minutes. Carefully dump out that water and replace it with cold water. Peel and slice!

Stir together sugar, cornstarch and zest in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Slowly stir in orange juice and cook til thickened, stirring often. Remove from heat and stir in butter and extract. Gently combine with peaches and turn into pie crust. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 2 – 3 hours.

Just before serving, whip cream with an electric mixer. While still beating, slowly add sugar and extract, then beat til stiff peaks form. Spoon into a freezer bag, snip off a corner and squeeze whipped cream decoratively onto the pie.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Spaghetti Inspector

In between all the shuffling and bustling I read food blogs. Endlessly. I can't get enough. Through this I found my new favourite site to obsessively check, Tastespotting. And through THAT I found a food blog which linked to Very Good Taste that had this list called...

The Omnivores Hundred.
Da-da-da DA!

It's a list of weird, strange, delicious and not so delicious foods. As a vegetarian I'm not going to have experienced a whole lot of things here but it's still pretty fun to do. I had to look quite a few of these things up.

Yeah I'm a veg, but Id nibble a chunk of croc if you set it in front of me-- how often do you get to eat something like that!

Here’s what I want you to do:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison - not my cup of tea
2. Nettle tea - also not my cup of tea..
3. Huevos rancheros - looking forward to trying this!
4. Steak tartare
Crocodile - I should like to eat a crocodiles belly
6. Black pudding
- holy crap, ever gross
7. Cheese fondue - FONDue childhood memories, haaaa
8. Carp - not a fish I would seek out with the intention of eating, really
9. Borscht - Borscht makes me grow up strong man make mama proud
10. Baba ghanoush - I want some right now. On a pizza. With falafel pepperoni
11. Calamari - Split an order with C's mum and polished it off, so it musta been good
12. Pho - The word "tripe" is very off putting, it gives me past life flashbacks of when I was an old english school marm sharing a piece of tripe with my cats
13. PB&J sandwich - probably dinner tonight
14. Aloo gobi - I work with a kitchen full of Sri Lankan gents, this is lunch every day
15. Hot dog from a street cart - I always end up throwing these up, yet get back up and try again
16. Epoisses - a kind of stinky cheese? Im in.
17. Black truffle - I had a wee piece on top of caviar and foie gras. Verdict: Bleah
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes - strawberry wine with my sister, and I got FUCKED up on celery wine with this ancient hippy on a mountain, talking about how oxygen originated in his back yard while his wife showed me her handmade quilts
19. Steamed pork buns - Jordan introduced us to these in China Town
20. Pistachio ice cream - I CRAVE THIS SO MUCH. Also that crappy pistachio jell-o. Mm.
21. Heirloom tomatoes - I see these all the time but have never tried one, will have to
22. Fresh wild berries - eaten with blue and/or red fingers, yeah
23. Foie gras - Smooshy and unappealing
24. Rice and beans - Hell yeah, mother fucker!
25. Brawn, or head cheese - gag gag gag gag barf gag death
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper - I would eat this, but only for money, I treasure the use of my tastebuds
27. Dulce de leche - Mmmm
28. Oysters - Little rotten grey vaginas
29. Baklava - Ive had good bakalava and bad convenience store baklava
30. Bagna cauda - I hadn't heard of this but it doesnt sound too bad
31. Wasabi peas - These and soy nuts are nice snacks for hungry squirrel girls
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl - That sounds freaking delicious
33. Salted lassi - This is what I imagine gulping down a glass of room temperature camel spunk would taste like
34. Sauerkraut - Ich esse meine Feinde für Abendessen und Sauerkraut für Nachtisch!
35. Root beer float - Never as good as it is in my head
36. Cognac with a fat cigar - only after I pleasure my many hot girlfriends
37. Clotted cream tea - one of my favourite things in life ever
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O - like a jello shooter? Nearly polished off 2 trays by myself
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects - maybe for survival, if there were no food, plants, dirt, feces or dead bodies around
43. Phaal - Don't like the sound of this one
44. Goat’s milk - tastes a little too goat teety for me
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more - really quickly, before the rich old dude who owned it came home
46. Fugu - Uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm eating chubby little pufferfishes makes me frown
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel - eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut - hot off the conveyor belt, bitches!
50. Sea urchin - What!? Why! Get that out of your mouth! Put that back in the tide pool! Wtf!
51. Prickly pear - Way too much work and I felt like I had a moustache for days after
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone- a balogne, maybe
54. Paneer - Mm!
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal - once, long ago, when I was a younger, more foolish girl and didnt realize it didnt come with a toy
56. Spaetzle - quite a nice little noodle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine - my biological mother
60. Carob chips - more like Carap chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin - isnt that mud?? I am absolutely certain this is in a face mask cream I have and I have accidentally gotten it into my mouth. That COUNTS, damn it!
64. Currywurst - wurst idea ever.
65. Durian - as my darling C once said, "Durian smells like balls"
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake - this is my grocery list this week
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain - mm!
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette - Don't even know what the first one is but its not going anywhere near my mouth!
71. Gazpacho - One of my favourite words and least favourite soups
72. Caviar and blini - not my bag
73. Louche absinthe - why the heck not!
74. Gjetost, or brunost - the description of this doesnt sound too bad but I have a feeling it's not a looker
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu - a Mongol Commander in Persia??

77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail - apparently when I ate this I made a brand new facial expression no one had ever seen before
79. Lapsang souchong - This tea tastes like stank
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict - I've only had a little taste of Mr. C's, and made some, never actually eaten the whole shebang
83. Pocky - Oh, YEAH!
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers - sugared pansies, rosies, dandelions, echinacea, chamomille, nasturtiums, clovers--- uhhh pretty much any flower Ive seen, if no one was looking, I uh, ate it
89. Horse - Yeah I'll eat that horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam - can you still buy Spam? For eating purposes?
92. Soft shell crab - *Screeeammmmmmm*
93. Rose Harissa - Who?
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano - oddly good. Mole mole mole
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor - This might be the only way I would actually eat lobster
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Wow, that took me a good hour or so. I'm exhausted. And hungry. Wait no, disgusted-- no, hungry again. I have tried a lot more things on here than I thought I would have, I think 49/100. Not bad for a vegetarian anyway.

Thanks Very Good Taste for this list!


So the banana bread recipe aside, I haven't done a new blog entry since July 28th. Stuff gets crazy sometimes, esse. Things of note that has gone on hence and since are:

- Moving the C-Minus into his brand spanking new apartment where all the spanking goes on.
- Painting my apartment a kinda yellow kinda tan kinda creamy neutral like colour
- Moved stuff all around. New Beds! Now I sleep in the living room! Yay! One step closer to actually living in the kitchen! Oh I shall dream sweet dreams by refrigerator glow...
- Driving around. Lots. Paying for parking, lots.
- Eating lots and hanging out with the Fam
- Doing poor work with Jiggly Puff in Super Smash Bros
- Things I have made: Silky Chocolate Raspberry Tart with Chocolate Shortbread Crust, a spur of the moment Quickly Before They Go Bad Plum and Peach Crumble, and Brioche Sticky Buns from Dorie Greenspan's book which I am going to marry. They are swirly little cinnabuttery orgasms!
- Thinking murderous thoughts about certain Higher Ups and Powers That Be
- Melting into puddles of sunshine on my living room floor, feeding my pigeon, kittens and plants, having nice little conversations with strangers that arent just mindless small talk, reading comic books, stuffing myself full of lactose and releasing it in small, short bursts over a long period of time!