Thursday, January 31, 2008

Suckfest

I want a bubble pipe to puff and blow on while I sit here waxing philosophical and watching some internet porn. But just try to find one. I'm sure an Emporium would have one. I got a good deal on pillows today at the Home Hardware, because the cat shat all over ours. Thats not why I got a good deal thats just why I took them up on it. They are puffy and Im sitting on them. The pillows, not the salesmen. Though one of them was pretty puffy. Anyway humans share the same basic skeletal and muscular structure, thusly fit people all look the exact same. Puffy people are works of majesty, to play audience to the interplay between forms so finely sculpted over years by their masters and gravity is one of the best things. Puffiness makes us unique forms. Podge is I, I am Podge. Hear Podge Roar! What Ho! I hover a comical amount of inches above most things in this apartment. I feel as though I am on a throne. Its exciting. I Pose.

I should probably just apply to university....... even though it gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach. I do miss learning. If I wait until 2009 to go to school Ill be 24 years old. Ill be nearly 30 before I finish. Disgusting. I need God, a god, any god, to turn into a bush and tell me to build a boat or something. Help!

Help! Help! Help!

Whatever I choose the rest of my life will be spent working. What a suckfest.

Theres lots of commotion the the hall, an ambulance and firetruck outside. Theres a girl crying in the hallway. She says "he's laying on the floor" and "he's dead." There is a brother and sister, young, who live on our floor in apartments across from one another. They do their laundry together and eat dinner together. I hope its not them.

Shelby Sifers - Six Refills of Coffee.mp3

Horror Vacui


Blondie - Slow Motion.mp3

Hot Lava - Mummy Beach

Antony & The Johnsons ft. Lou Reed - Fistful of Love.mp3


Cannons Jug Stompers - Going to Germany.mp3


Muddy Waters - Rollin' Stone.mp3


Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt Always Kill.mp3


M.I.A - $20.mp3

The Amps - Mom's Drunk.mp3




Heh heh heh, amusing..

Had a spanakopita for lunch today followed by chocolate bread pudding. I'm one podgy bitch! Mmmm HMMmm! The spanakopita wasnt great, unlike...


Six Super Scrumptious Blueberry von Muffins!!!!!!11

4 tablespoons butter
1/2 cup sugar

1 egg
1 cup flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup milk

1/2 teaspoon finely grated lemon peel

1 cup blueberries,fresh or frozen
1 teaspoon sugar

Preheat oven to 375°F. Line a muffin pan with paper liners. Cream the butter and sugar in a food processor or mixer. When thoroughly combined, add the egg and blend. Add the flour, baking powder and salt and lemon peel, blend and then gradually add the milk. Put batter in a mixing bowl and gently fold in the blueberries and dried fruit. Fill muffin tins completely and top each muffin with a sprinkle of sugar. Bake for 20-30 minutes or until a bamboo skewer comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes then move to a rack.


Do you ever get a word in your head, just repeating and repeating, and you're not even sure what it means? Yesterday when I was doing the dishes, the word "horror vacui" was just spinning around and around in my head, I literally could not even think of anything else, not even "wtf am I thinking this fucking word for?" Weird eh.. Anyway I just remembered now to look it up.


Hm, interesting. Musta heard it somewhere. Also, if youre EXCEPTIONALLY bored, which you must be right now or you wouldnt be reading this, theres some awesome art stuff on this blog to look at Light My Life. That links to an archive in September, cause I really like Martin Klimas' "still life" photographs of the smashing chinese figures. Good Stuff.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna eat some popcorn and play some mother fuckin War! Craft!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Et Puis Je Fume


Pink Martini - No Hay Problema.mp3

Al Hirt - Fancy Pants.mp3

Pink Martini - Hang On Little Tomato.mp3

Al Hirt - Cotton Candy.mp3

Pink Martini
- Never On A Sunday.mp3

Al Hirt - Theme from the Green Hornet.mp3

Pink Martini -
Que Sera Sera.mp3

Al Hirt - Alley Cat.mp3



Was feeling in a Pink Martini kind of mood, which then led me to pilferring Cory's Al Hirt collection for some reason, so here is a sample of the saxy, horny, trumpety times that insued. Oh Yes Child. Makes me smile.

It was a nice day today, mild, misty and springlike. Birds were making those
hey-mate-with-me squawks in the early morn. Nice days mean everyone is feeling nice, so work went well. All the customers were so happy. Soooo much winking was done. Im sure I have gone on atleast one 'WTF's up with winking, Toronto?' rant before. Everyone winks here. The girls at work swear they aren't ever winked at. Its not like a 'hey baby' kind of thing, its more of a 'ha ha we are both in on some funny joke' kind of thing. I wonder, am I the joke? I was also discussing with Cory how winter seems to make us paranoid depressives. Get lots of sun, lest you become a sad hamster.

Okay just one more! Just because the lyrics are topical. As well as being Tres French and funny.

Pink Martini - Sympatique.mp3


Ma chambre a la forme d'une cage
Le soleil passe son bras par la fenêtre
Les chasseurs à ma porte
Comme les p'tits soldats
Qui veulent me prendre

Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

Déjà j'ai connu le parfum de l'amour
Un million de roses n'embaumerait pas autant
Maintenant une seule fleur dans mes entourages
Me rend malade

Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

Je ne suis pas fière de ça
Vie qui veut me tuer
C'est magnifique être sympathique
Mais je ne le connais jamais

Je ne veux pas travailler
Non
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

Je ne suis pas fière de ça
Vie qui veut me tuer
C'est magnifique être sympathique
Mais je ne le connais jamais

Je ne veux pas travailler
Non
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume


Even when work is great, I find the only thing that makes me actually WANT to show up is giving people who are exceptionally sweet and shiny, some free shit. I gave this super energetic lady an extra seafood crepe, and she nearly made out with me. She rubbed lavender lotion on my hands and said "there now you are all lubed up and ready to take on the day!" Haha.. wtf...I gave a random Romanian fellow a couple extra almond horn cookies and we chatted for a bit about baking. He came back hours later all excited and handed me a ragged looking piece of paper with recipes scrawled all over it. They are from 600 year old Romanian cookbook his grandmother handed down to him. How awesome! The measurements are in grams and they call for some weird shit like "beer yeast the size of a walnut" but I cant wait to try them! These were written in pretty broken English which, though terribly cute, is hard to read, so I cleaned it up a bit. Here you go! Also his name is Cosmin. And he thinks my name is Hera. I WISH.


Cosmin's Pastry Rolls with Walnuts
(also known as Almond Horns)

100g honey

350g flour
80g powdered sugar
100g butter
1 whole egg
200g walnuts (crushed)
1/4 of a pack of baking powder
A little milk


Melt the butter and mix it with the honey and sugar, until you get a nice foam. Then add the walnuts, baking powder and gently incorporate the flour and add a little milk to keep the dough soft and moist. Knead the dough and form it in the desired shape. Beat the egg and brush it over the cookies. Sprinkle some fine shaved walnuts on them and bake at 325 until they get lightly golden. Cover with powdered sugar a whole lot.

* You can also dip the ends in chocolate,
which is delicious. Do it.


Cosmin's Crumbling Cookies


250g butter 500g powdered sugar
1/2 kg turkish delight

1 teaspoon vinegar

Beer yeast the size of a walnut

1/2 kg or more flour


Dissolve the yeast in the milk. Separately melt the butter and let it cool but keep on stirring it until it becom
es foamy. Next, while stirring, add the vinegar, milk with the yeast, and gently add the flour. Mix until it becomes a dough which can be kneaded. Split it in four pieces and chill for 30 minutes. Using a rolling pin, roll it out into thin sheets. Cut it in squares, put small pieces of turkish delight on top of each one. Bake at 325. Once baked and hot, sprinkle with powdered sugar.

I googled "Cosmin" to see what kind of name it was (Romanian) and the first result was this photographer, Cosmin Bumbut. BUM BUT! CAN YOU IMAGINE! SUCH A NAME EXISTS! I wish someone else were here to share in this small mirth. Damn it. Hee hee. His photos are actually terrifying. I think they are mostly of inmates in a
Romanian prison.. or it could just be a bunch of college kids in their dorm, god knows, its Romania! So many are mesmerizing, but this one especially so, I don't know why...


Monday, January 28, 2008

Mac Daddy

oOOOh I have very exciting news. You'll shit your pants. I am very excited to tell you this news. Alas, for I am too tired to accurately portray my excitement via text. After work I worked an event at Roy Thompson Hall, something to do with Adrian Clarkson. What a boring old wench she is. Anyway, after serving nicoise salad and berry tarts to swarms of buzzing old biddies for hours, Im a little drained of my usual piss and vinegar. Strangely, thats exactly what Roy Thompson Hall smelled like... no I jest, it smelled like 10,000 Elizabeth Taylor perfumes and sequined clothes that have been in the closet waiting for decades.

But I digest.

HERE IS THE NEWS!

RIGHT NOW!


AS OF THIS MOMENT! Actually as of yesterday at 5pm! I am typing on MACBOOOKKKK AHHHHHHHHHHH


And its mine! Its so fucking beautiful. I get emotional when I think about it. Its just so fuckin clean and sturdy and pretty! Here's what it looks like RIGHT NOW!



Thats too wee to actually see the vastness of cool that is my desktop, so click that, bitches, and be humbled!!

Its okay, you dont have to say it, I know you want to be me.

Are you ever so happy you feel like surely you're 2 seconds away from a fatal car crash or you must have some kind of fatal illness you just dont know about yet? This is how I know Im happy. Like Im getting away with something. Like life cant possibly be THIS good without me having to pay in the extreme for it. Mac in my lap, beer in my belly, boy in my bed. Mmm Mmm. Ive never been so afraid for my life!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Tada!

A chick and her monkey being really rather funny.


Sunshine, French Fries and Birthday Cakes

Stand a little less between me and the sun.
- Diogenes


January in Toronto seems very mild. I don't know if its not being in Barrie, or just because the earth is heating up quicker than a Hot Pocket, but it's alright with me. Sorry Africa, you're literally on fire, but Canadians can wear our sneakers in January!

The day is flooded with sun. On the first day of good solid sunshine in the winter I always feel the same. Just being at home, stripping off my clothes, opening a beer and listening to some kind of punk music on the floor in the sun. So I am!


Woo hooo!

A new burger joint just opened up on the corner of our block, the building with the giant train painted on the side in astonishing perspective. Its called Chew Chew's. Peeking in the windows, it seems to have pictures backlit on the walls as if they were windows out to some tropical local. Wicked. Cory is taking me to dine there this eve, I am excited. Also its wednesday so beer and greasy french fries with ketchup will be followed with sketching some nakedness. It's a good day!

So take off your pants and join me.


Stiff Little Fingers - Suspect Device.mp3

D.O.A - I'm Right, You're Wrong.mp3

Stiff Little Fingers - Wasted Life.mp3


D.O.A - I Hate You.mp3



Sooo I'ts been a few hours since I started writing this, oops. We did go to Chew Chew's, it, was great. I had a chocolate sundae and a plate of fries YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I love how eager everyone is at new restaurants. I also love dipping my french fries in soft serve icecream. I have to go to the bathroom. Im ending this now. NO WAIT WAIT! I forgot!!



HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FRED-FACE!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Wind Breaks, M'Love

If you listen to these in this order its kind of like slowly drifting off to sleep only to have really fucked up, carnival themed dreams.

Keren Ann - Lay Your Head Down.mp3


Avey Tare and Kria Brekkan - Ive Got Mine.mp3

Cat Power - I Love You (Me Either).mp3


Phosphorescent - Wolves.mp3

Norfolk & Western - The Longest Stare.mp3

Avey Tare & Kria Brekkan - Lay Lay Off, Faselam.mp3


Bryan Scary and the Shredding Tears - Misery Loves Company.mp3

Dirty Projectors - Jolly Jolly Ego.mp3

The Eels - Get Ur Freak On.mp3


Bryan Scary and the Shredding Tears - Venus Ambassador.mp3


As a kid I would have this recurring dream that there were wolves in our house. I would usually have to escape being eaten by running away or hiding in the dryer. This dream later evolved into Being Chased By A Serial Murderer Through The Suburbs And No One Answers Their Doors dream, which is the old stand by for times of stress. Under times of extreme duress I am raped by pirates, and/or Elliot Gould.

Monday, January 21, 2008

The Bong in this Reggae Song

Ha Ha Ha and ahey ahoy. Guess what?

IM, me, ME, I'm going
to see The Breeders at the Phoenix in March. Sweet Deal. Sweet Kim Deal. Oh yes. Should promise good times.

In case you are most unfortunately unaw
ares of their wares, here are a few examples of how many bums they kick. One of them is certain to be yours.

The Breeders - Do You Love Me Now.mp3

The Breeders - Cannonball.mp3


The Breeders - Collage.mp3


The Breeders - Drivin' on 9.mp3

The Breeders - Huffer.mp3

The Breeders - Happiness is a Warm Gun.mp3




I highly recommend downloading Collage if you aren't feeling in the mood for any of the others. Its a cover of a 60's tune and was on the soundtrack for the Mod Squad... The movie was crap but it isnt, I swear, I dare you not to play it twice in a row. There's just something about it. If you did however download the rest and liked it, here's something else you need. A couple tracks from Kim's other band, The Amps. Indeed. I love it when people say "Indeed".

The Amps - Pacer.mp3

The Amps - Tipp City.mp3



And then Georgia O'Keeffe's armpit.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Oh Mahi Mahi!

Tonight I finally made Potato and Leek soup from the bunch of leeks I had turning to leek puddles in my fridge. And, because I was a crafty minx and stole a bunch of stuff from work saturday night, I had a delicious loaf of stale organic artisan raisin bread (wtf does artisan bread even mean anyway) and decided to make a bread pudding. I accompanied my soup with pan-seared filets of mahi mahi, and broccoli. Very Nice.

Potato Leek Soup
(from The Joy of Cooking)
Makes about 8 cups

Melt in a soup pot over low heat:

3 tablespoons unsalted butter

Add and cook, stirring, until tender but not browned, about 20 minutes:

6 medium leek, well cleaned and chopped

Stir in:

1 1/4 pounds all purpose potatoes, peeled and thinly sliced

6 cups chicken or vegetable stock

Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer until the potatoes are soft, about 30 minutes. Puree until smooth. Season with salt and pepper.


Bread Pudding (from The Joy of Cooking)
8 servings

Butter a 2 quart baking dish. Trim and cut into 1/2 inch cubes:

12 to 16 ounces sliced white bread, stale but not hard (or raisin bread)

You should have 4 to 5 lightly packed cups. Spread the bread in the prepared baking dish, then scatter over top if desired:

(3/4 cup raisins or other dried fruit)

Whisk together thoroughly in a bowl:

4 large eggs (I used 3)
3 cups while milk (I used half and half, ha!)
3/4 cup sugar (I used brown....)
1 teaspoon vanilla (I used the blood of a stillborn infant)
3/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
pinch of salt

Pour the mixture over the bread and let stand for 30 minutes, periodically pressing the bread down with a spatula to help it absorb the liquid. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Bake the ouddng in a water bath, untl a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. 55 minutes to an hour. Serve with icecream, warm whipped cream or a whiskey sauce.

Mmmm -MM!

I'll also include this recipe for "cauliflower steaks" which is what I also wanted to make tonight but No Frills was out of cauliflower, damn them to HELL! Anyway, this looked good.


Cauliflower Steaks with Cauliflower Puree (from epicurious.com)

Few ingredients, big payoff: Large "steaks" are cut from a head of cauliflower, sautéed until golden, then baked until tender. They're served over a simple puree made from the cauliflower florets. An impressive first course, this can also be a lovely side. Just sear two mahi-mahi fillets in butter and place them alongside the cauliflower.

Makes 2 servings

Ingredients
1 1 1/2-pound head of cauliflower
1 1/2 cups water
1 cup whole milk
2 tablespoons vegetable oil plus additional for brushing
preparation
Preheat oven to 250°F. Using sharp heavy knife and starting at top center of cauliflower head, cut two 1-inch-thick slices of cauliflower, cutting through stem end. Set cauliflower steaks aside.

Cut enough florets from remaining cauliflower head to measure 3 cups. Combine florets, 1 1/2 cups water, and milk in medium saucepan, and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Bring to boil and cook until cauliflower florets are very tender, about 10 minutes. Strain, reserving 1 cup cooking liquid. Spread florets on large rimmed baking sheet, and bake 10 minutes until slightly dry. Transfer florets to blender. Add reserved 1 cup cooking liquid and puree until smooth. Return puree to same saucepan and increase oven temperature to 350°F.

Heat 2 tablespoons vegetable oil in heavy large ovenproof skillet over medium-high heat. Brush cauliflower steaks with additional oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Add cauliflower steaks to skillet and cook until golden brown, about 2 minutes per side. Transfer skillet to oven and bake cauliflower steaks until tender, about 10 minutes.

Rewarm cauliflower puree over medium heat. Divide puree between 2 plates; top each with cauliflower steak.


Thursday, January 17, 2008

Alex Trebek, You Jackass





















There is a thick vein in my hand. Its by my thumb, and has a seperate pulse. The
light from the lamp beside me is pouring over it and casting a shadow down one side, its protruding so. Its like an earthworm sleeping in my hand, just under my skin. Its really distracting, I can feel it beating its own seperate beat. Ugggghhhhhhhhhh

Oh yeah. Im writing another blog BECAUSE I JUST REMEMBERED I didnt brag about my awesome birthday presents!

This is what I got-- this is more just so I can look back later in life, when Im o
ld and grey, and see what awesome stuff I got when I was a young 23 year old scamp.

Well, I got taken out to the Imperial, a dive bar, by all my most loved, and drinks were poured down my throat-- that was the best present!

Cory brought cupcakes to work for me from the Dessert Lady on the Danforth. Enough to share with all the foodshop girls. Everyone in the kitchen was jealous! After work he took me to these shops in Cabbagetown I hadnt been to before. We found such treasures as...


Bauhaus's Bela Lugosi's Dead on vinyl! Sexy.

Bauhaus - Bela Lugosi's Dead.mp3

















Klee Wyck by Emily Carr - When I was about 8 years old I bought this book for a dime at a garage sale, not knowing at all what it was, but finding it instantly very attractive. I remember the first pages of the introduction described a middle old lady who would walk everyday like clockwork past her neighbors house on her way to the butchers shop. She would be pushing a cart in front of her, its passenger was a japanese monkey named Woo, and around her would be pigeons and other small rodents, following her down the street. I thought that was fucking magical. She painted and wrote books and had a monkey and a peacock and lived by herself and didn't give a fuck for anyone else. When people would come to visit she would tie all her chairs up with ropes and hang them from the ceiling so no one would have anywhere to sit and would leave very quickly. This is my absolute favourite Emily Carr quote. I think its is extremely important. One of the most important things Ive ever read.

"Be careful that you do not write or paint anything that is not your own, that you don't know in your own soul. You will have to experiment and try things out for yourself and you will not be sure of what you are doing. That's all right, you are feeling your way into the thing. But don't take what someone else has made sure of and pretend that it's you yourself that have made sure of it, till its yours absolutely by conviction. Its stealing to take it and hypocrisy and you'll fall into a hole... If you're going to lick the icing off somebody else's cake, you won't be nourished and it won't do you any good, -- or you might find the cake had caraway seeds and you hate them. But if you make your own cake, and know the recipe and stir the thing with your own hand it's your own cake. You can ice it or not as your like. Such lots of folks are licking the icing off other fellow's cakes!"


Girl With Curious Hair by David Foster Wallace - A collection of interesting short stories. Kind of.. Paul Thomas Anderson meets Tom Robbins minus all the "Look at how many words I know"ness. The first story is about 2 lesbans and Alex Trebek. Quite excellent so far!



Red Earth and Pouring Rain by Vikram Chandra - Haven't started this one, but it looks like a good read. Don't know anything about it other than its about an indian student and.. wild adventures? God knows, looks good though!








And this huge, gorgeous, hardcover book of Durer prints and paintings. Such as:


And!

The Vegetarian Epicure by Anna Thomas!

We found this in the junk shop, admist a lot of crap and a weird leather virgin mary themed wallet Cory bought because he is so awesomely cool man. I just flipped through it and saw delicious sounding recipes, with simple, good ingredients and thought "Oh Yes Please". Looking at the ratings it got on Amazon it was a good $6.00 purchase! Thanks Cory m'dear!

Leah bought me a little bag of Godiva Chocolate which I literally inhaled with my pitcher of beer on Friday. And Amanda bought be tons of booze, a hotdog, and a rooooose awwww shes so sickeningggggg. It died, by the way amanda.. >8/ It was totally dead in the morning despite the makeshift vase I made it! Oh well, it was beautiful but for an evening. And what an evening it was..

And what, an evening.. it...... was.....

We should celebrate me more often.

Thanks everyone for making it so fucking great by the way! See you all again next year!

Please Do Not Feed Great Bearded Clam

Life drawing... drawing life. The very LIFE!

So, I went, like I promised myself I would. It took me a drunken facebook message to Tara, harassing her to come along in attempt to make me less of a chicken shit about the whole "actually participating in a new experience" thing-- but I went! Also because she's awesome and artistic and it was an excuse to get her in the same proximity as me. So off we
went, I in my kerchief and her in her hat. To properly portray the attitude of the event I have composed for you a poem.. set in the font of courier because it looks rather bardly. Which is a real actual word, by the way.

ACHEM!!!!

Life Drawing at the Gladstone
Golly Gee Williker

I spy that old dudes

wrinkly chick-sticker

Girl shy thine eye, don't stare

Remember you're a pupil,

You got scruples

Hope they wash that chair


J
azz Fusion sets the mood
Oh a full moon, how romantic
Gummi Bears are good food
Ha ha, ha I'm drawing a dick!


3 minutes, next pose

How does hair even grow there?

Gah its hard to draw a nose
2b, 4b, 6b, HB, fuck me!
Sinewy old coot
Balls the size of a grapefruit
Next week I pray for a boobie


(or 2)



That pretty much sums it up. What more fun could a girl have for $7 in the big city! It was great actually, I wish I could go again tonight, haha. Though I am embarrassed to report that my artistic stamina has severely atrophied during my Time of Malaise. Mayonnaise. God Im like a rapper! Thats what Im officially calling my "dry spell" of doing fuckall for 2-3 years by the way. For you know, when Im all famous and hip shit like that. Like Picassos b
lue period. Anyway. Tara's sketches were so free flowing, but she tired early as well. Halfway through I looked over to find her eating gummi bears and staring off in space while distractedly drawing skull demons. Next week there will be two models, a couple, should be...

WICKED COOL.

Yep, so, there's that. Work is going fine, Im just pretending Im not there the whole time. Im eating too many french pastries. Here's a picture of a fuzzy lobster I found while googling "bearded clam" for educational purposes.



So that's kind of neat. It causes conflicting reactions in me. I want to run away shreiking at the top of my lungs while fiercely rubbing my body in case I got any crab on me, and feelings of wanting to spoon it all night long while whispering lovingly into its soft feathery arms.

And since I am in a rude mood, here's a couple more websites I may have been spotted looking it in the last hour or so.. if you were in the room.. which you better not be.. or things are definitely going to be weird between us now....

STARMA.com: Starma's adult euphemism website


ModBlog.com: Tattoos A Collection of Really Poor Decisions Made Forever

And a music. Please listen to these, this girl is adorable.

January music

Shelby Sifers - Snowman.mp3

Non January music!

Shelby Sifers - Things Are Beautiful.mp3


Shelby Sifers - You Potato You Geranium.mp3

That is all!





Tuesday, January 15, 2008

100th Blogtacular


Holy Fuck - Casio Bossa Nova.mp3

Tonight I am to be found in my comfortable apartment, in a fashionable state of undress, trudging away at what will no doubt be my seminal work. Smears of cyan and dobs of naples yellow chase one another up my arms, unnoticed by me. For I have most certainly been caught up in a vortex of self expression and pause only from this intense state of concentration to look quickly, typically in a furtive manner, through the opening in my curtains. You see I find
streaks of exhibitionism heighten the experience. It's all rather amusing, I must say. Ho ho hum!

Yeah, Ive been drinking. But, as Francis Capra once said "I never knew my father and when I did, it was very briefly. He was incarcerated for most of my life and he was killed two years ago; he was shot. I think that even though my father wasn't there, in his death and in his memory, he has been a mentor to me in my manhood because my mom couldn't teach me how to be a man." Things couldn't be truer today.

And just in case hearing this light melody still doesn't instantly make you want to blow your brains out, heeeeere's..

Young Folks Japanese Style!
Shugo Takumaru - Young Folks.mp3

Young Folks auf Deutsch!
Nena - Young Folks.mp3

Young Folks happenin' all hip hoppenin!
Kanye West - Young Folks Remix.mp3

Shit the whole world jumped on that band wagon!

I don't have much to share, music-wise, really. Mostly because Maz and the Brother are hogging all the limelight, having posted every good song this year on their blogs, respectively. S
O all I have is that tremendously dated stuff, sorry. Right now Im just listening to the new Radiohead album, its like.. sexy. I didnt think Radiohead could be sexy. Makes me want to cop someone a feelski. Digging it.

Especially this one, which Maz pointed out to me specifically earlier and Ive listened to 4 times since.

Radiohead - All I Need.mp3


Haven't finished a painting yet, but when I do I'll have Cory take some pictures. Tomorrow night I'm fffffiiiinnnaaalllyyy heading to the Gladstone for $7 life drawing classes at 8:30. Tara is coming with, should promise to be an excellent time. Anyone else in the neighborhood want to come draw some nudies, give me a call.

Seeeyaaa


Monday, January 14, 2008

Pass The Cool Ranch Doritos


Yep! Yes it is. Llamallaydeh

And there's more. Here's a few of my personal faves!


Sexy lesbo fillies...
A dog...?


Um.. some sort of cross generation incest lesbian bestiality sheep thing.. going on..

And even the rare and majestic Party Slut Snail!

Is it art? Is it pornography? Is it even REAL? I don't have the faintest fucking clue, you decide! But before you do, you better knock a quick one off, just in case, before you come to your senses.

This is Peter's Human/Animal Hybrid site, in case you're interested. You sick freak.

Also, Cory found that, not me! NOT ME.

In other news, I would like to share with you all, the glory that is Paul Barman. MC Paul Barman, to be in a state of exactitude. He is frickin' awesome. As exemplified by his song...

MC Paul Barman - I Am Frickin' Awesome.mp3

See how true it is?

He is also a man after my own heart!

Paul Barman - Burping and Farting.mp3


BUTT, the best ones Ive heard so far are these tiny babies, whom I adore, and want to squeeze, and hug, and breastfeed until they grow up big strong men who can protect me from the beasts in the darkness and the cold, cold, blowing winds of the plain.

MF Doom ft. MC Paul Barman - Hot Guacamole.mp3


Deltron 3030 ft. MC Paul Barman - Meet Cleofis Randolph the Patriarch.mp3

M.C Paul Barman - Cock Mobster.mp3

Pretty much just a list of chicks he wants to Do and how he'd like to Do'em. But it all RHYMES, MAN!

M.C Paul Barman and Princess Superstar - MTV Get Off the Air pt. 2.mp3

That last one seems to be Mr. Barman and Canadian Rapper Type Girl, Princess Superstar, outgrossing one another. It is, pretty, how you say, fly. For a white guy.. and girl..

I'm in love.

Now you'll have to excuse me, I had tacos for dinner, and Im about to burn a hole through my Fruitloops jammies. I'll blog about my Birthday Goodtimes, Queen Street Extravaganza and Staff Party Booze-up later! AAAH!

Here, watch this trailer for the critically acclaimed, soon to be classic, Vag with Teeth movie.




Friday, January 11, 2008

Birthday Goodtimes


Dooby Doo Doo Dibbly Wah!

HEY CHUMPS!

It's my birthday!

Birthday, yeah yeah, birthday, alright, birthday, out of sight, yeaaaaah!

Today, a customer brought me a sparkly birthday tiara to wear, and coworkers bought me cake and a cinnamon bun. Woo, hoo! The love has been felt. Now, Im going to have a nap to conserve energy, because I am going to having a big night of eating nachos and macking on the ladies.

Ohhhh yeahhhhh

Nina Simone - Ain't Got No (She says boobies! Tee hee!)
The Klaxons - No Diggity
Crayon - Knee High Susan
Asobi Seksu - Strawberries (CSS Remix)
The Million Dollar Orchestra - Doncha Wanna Get Down
Tom Jones - Keep On Runnin'
Dr. Dog - My Old Ways
Fats Waller - Honeysuckle


Anarchy Cake

1 1/2 cups fruit (or 4 ounces of chopped bittersweet chocolate), sliced if using peaches, apricots, or plums (neatness does not count); if using cherries, pit them
3/4 cup of cake or pastry flour (all-purpose flour works in a pinch)
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
Pinch of salt
1 egg
1/2 cup superfine sugar, plus an additional 2 tablespoons
1/4 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon balsamic vinegar

Preheat oven to 350°F.

Line bottom of a 10-inch-diameter springform pan with parchment paper, brush with oil, and lightly flour.

Gently toss prepared fruit with 1 tablespoon of sugar and set aside. (If using chocolate, do not toss it with the sugar, just put aside until needed.)

Combine flour, baking powder, and salt in a bowl and set aside.

Using an electric mixer, beat the egg with the 1/2 cup of superfine sugar and lemon zest until light, fluffy, and pale in color. This could take as long as 5 minutes.

Add the olive oil, then the milk and balsamic vinegar, beating until fully combined.

Using a rubber spatula, fold in the flour mixture.

Pour batter into the prepared springform pan and drop the sliced fruit over the top. Sprinkle with a tablespoon of sugar.

Bake for 50 minutes, until the top is a beautiful golden brown. A knife blade inserted into the cake’s center should come out clean.



Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Snarfwaggle


Hola queridos!

Jonquil - Sudden Sun

Man o Man, it has to be 20 degrees out. Im actually sweating. Incroyable!

Working all day I missed out on a lot of the sweet weather. It's 7pm and still nice out, though a bit rainy now. This did not deter me from going for a wee jaunt after work though. Got some indian chickpea looking stuff, some Belgian beer and a huge bottle of Hochtaler. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make some rice'n chickpeas, get naked, get toasted, and paint some rude pictures!

The Klaxons - Isle of Her


I wish my dancing made men want to learn spanish. My feet have bad smells on them.

Goodnight

Fundias and the Medium Mindblowers - Smebecker

Monday, January 7, 2008

Bonk m'Jonk

Hey swell dudes,

It's me, Kara!

I'm back in Toronto now, and enjoying all kinds of apartment good times. Activities include, but were not restricted to:

- Taking the 7:15 Go Train from Barrie to Union station for the first time. Not a bad ride, beats the bus
- Eating apple jelly and the last of the peanut butter gelato
- Petting the One Eye'd Kitten's curly belly
- Watching Simon Schama's doc on Turner. The whole BBC series "The Power of Art" is just fucking astoundingly great. Schama's pretty much the most intelligent and most British guy in the world, and Turner rocks in many ways, so that was a treat. Next up: Caravaggio, wa ha ha
- Annoying the piss out of Cory and squirming and screeching as he reciprocated and then some, one of my favourite past times

- Had 3 showers, drank tea, watched half of Resident Evil, and, DRUMROLL PLEASE

Painted! Fuck yes I did. I mean sort of.. Its more Turner than Caravaggio right now, but its there, and its feels soooo gooood. Nothing feels sexier than spreading paint between my fingers. Mmmph. Really wish I could take some pictures.. they would be embarrassing, but it would be nice to document the progression. Tomorrow I may even start, a still life, for shits and giggles. I know, I'm crazy. Im getting completely out of hand.

Woo hoo


Anyway... so.. enough blathering, I should share some stuff! Lets see, what things of any interest have I come across today..

Oh! I was surfing around and I found this blog post that is as epic as it is sweet. He seems to have dug up dozens of versions and things having to do with that Pinball Countdown. I had a freaky dream involving this weirdo pinball thing months ago and couldnt for the life of me place where I had seen it-- Sesame Street! Holy smokes, that solved a huge mystery for me. Anyway, you remember this eh? Have a look!


Not much to offer other than that. I've been listening to a lot of Andrew Bird la
tely, which is all the brothers doing. It's the kind of thing you fall in love with the more you listen. It kind of sucks you deeper and deeper and bores its way into your heart while you're distracted. Like everyones favourite arthropod, the boll weevil! I hear all kind of voices in his voice, and his lyrics sometimes border on making no sense but sounding great, with lots of science type words. Apparently he is proficient in violin, mandolin, the glockenspiel and whistling! Gotta love a guy who rocks the glock.

Here are a few, not his absolute best, but ones with lyrics that made me smile.


Andrew Bird - Fake Palindromes

My dewy-eyed bride what has tried
Swapping your blood with formaldehyde? monsters?
Whiskey-pli
ed voices cried fratricide!
Jesus don’t you know that you coulda died with the monsters what talk
Monsters what walk the earth
She’s got red lipstick and a bright pair of shoes
Knee high socks what to cover a bruise

She’s got an old death kit

She’s been meaning to use blood in her eyes in her eyes for you
She’s got blood in her eyes for you certain fads, stripes and plaids singles ads

Run you hot and cold like a rheostat i mean a thermostat

So you bite on a towel hope it won’t hurt too bad

She says i like long walks and sci-fi movies

You’re six foot tall and east coast bred
Some lonely night we can get together

And i’m gonna tie your wrists with leather

And drill a tiny hole into your head


Andrew Bird - Measuring Cups

Get out your measuring cups and we'll play a new game
Can't have the cream when the crop and the cream are the same
Liquid or gas no more than the glass will contain


When you talk about the hand of glory
A tale that's rather grim and gory
Is it just another children's story that's been de-clawed?
When the tales of brothers Grimm and Gorey have been outlawed

I think they're gonna make you start over
You don't want to start over

Put your backpack on your shoulder
Be the good little soldier
Take your places now
'Cause we're all predisposed


Andrew Bird - Happy Birthday Song

When I wake up
In the morning
I pour the coffee
Read the paper
Then I slowly
And so softly
Do the Dishes
Feed the Fishes


Sing me Happy Birthday
Sing it like its going to be your last day
Like its hallelujah
Dont just let it pass on through ya
It's a giant amoung cliches
And thats why I want you to sing it anyway
Sing me Happy Birthday
Cause hell what's it all about anyway
Sing me Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday
Like it's gonna be your last day

Here on earth



That's my boy!

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Shake-a-shake


La La Lemon!

Some Type of Italian Lemon Milk Shake

2 cups vanilla icecream
1 1/2 cup lemon sorbet

3/4 cup fresh lemon juice

2/3 cup vodka

1/2 cup Prosecco, sparkling wine, or sparkling water I guess

Blend it up!

That sounds good, eh? In a lemony, Eye-talian, kinda way. I got a blender for Christmas. An iBlend, for your information. Dunno what the 'i' stands for, maybe it has a tiny computer brain inside. Maybe it plays mp3s while it frapees. No clue, havent opened it yet, okay? Lay off. Im waiting for the perfect moment. The moment I get home and Cory yells "Woman! Make me a milkshake!" pretty much.

Anyway Ive been looking for some schweet schmoothie recipes. Judging by the looks of things, you don't really need to adhere to a strict schematic to achieve sweet and delicious glory. You just kind of .. throw a bunch of shit into the blender and it comes together in a beautiful marriage of Magic and Science.


This one caught my eye though, because it struck me as relatively wretched sounding.


Strawberry Oatmeal Breakfast Smoothie

1 cup soy milk, or cow milk, but I find that can often taste teety
1/2 cup rolled oats

1 banana

14 frozen s
trawberries
1/2 tsp vanilla
extract
1 1/2 tsp white sugar


Make all this stuff be in the same place at the same time, par example, inside your blender. Press any button on it you want, they will all fuck the shit out of all this stuff. Pour into a glass, OR NOT. Drink it up and become instantly embued with a lust for life only a smoothie can induce. Even one with oatmeal in. Gag.


That one has 105 positive reviews on www.allrecipes.com so, cant be all bad. Looking forward to trying it.

Not much going on today. Went with the sibbos to see Juno, which was awesome. Did a bit of night driving listening to Bobby's music. Made a stop to stock up on koolaid. Made some garlic bread. Cory showed me these awesome teeny houses!






Theres some pictures if you're too lazy to click on that link. They're freaking adorable though.

Heres a song!



Saturday, January 5, 2008

Nudie tubes

Aw Jenny Lewis, you are like a little porcelain doll I want to dress up.. and then undress.... so I can dress up again!



This is so scary... every time he throws his tiny tangled body on the floor I wince, but its so damn cool.



And this is old, but its for the brothers amusement...



I used to enjoy listening to this song on my way to work at the gas station. Midnight, cruising on the country backroads, with cricket noises, windows down.. ohhh yeahhhhhh sooo sweettttt I am soooo cooooool....



And one for Kristy


Kr38-v gRRRL


My DAD, just gave ME, cookies!

And I am eating them, without GUILT, because Im exercising as we SPEAK. Well, as I type. For I am on, a yoga ball! This giant red rubber ball's gonna give me abs of steel and a bum that looks less like two badly parked Volkswagons and more like a lady from a rap video! Thats hot right?

In a way, that ms paint artistry you cant look away from above, is a self portrait. I am a tubby mammal, riding my red rubbery manta ray into the new realm of fitness, which is fueled by popcorn, symbolizing cookies. And well, yeah, farting.

I checked thesaurus.com, there is no classy way to say "farting". Wtf.

Expectoration of the Derriere?

Who, knows.

So... I need to get more creative. This thing IS called Kara's SKETCHY blog thing. The blog part is kind of oozing all over the sketchy and taking over.. which is really unfortunate. I think for this year my main goals will be...

Paint more
Make an Etsy account in a stinking attempt at making some cashola flow
Take life drawing classes at the Gladstone on wednesdays
Apply to UTM for their Art and Art History Program

So it is written, so shall it be!