Monday, March 31, 2008

Beware The Wormbies


Cats and dogs are coming down
14th Street is gonna drown

Everyone else rushing 'round
I got Blonde on Blonde on my portable stereo

Hey ya, my pokey little puppies!

Mmmm This evening The Outside is cool and damp and flas
hing us hints of its spring. I've been standing over the stove smoking a joint, cooking some soup and listening to some Hip Young People music. Got my $2 fruit salad theme apron on. Done the soup now, and find myself suddenly and literally coo coo for cocoa puffs. Nestle Quick cereal with Chinese Soy Milk and bananas will suffice nicely. Things are viddy good.

By Christ I cant eat this fast enough.

I had a really most excellent weekend. Jordan stayed over for a couple of nights, and the days were filled with working and cooking and eating all kinds o
f crazy things. Thursday evening Jordan popped over while I was making lava cake muffins. Which were incredible. Maz, try these, they are fecking delicious and from Alton Brown so you know they's gonna be good eats. Take them out just as the tops start to set a bit, but not while they are still extra wobbly. They came out like a little soft gooey chocolate hockey puck in the gut. Mmmmm. Even delicious cold the next day! I ate 6 of them! Hahaha! Im going to die very young!


Chocolate Lava Muffins
Recipe courtesy Alton Brown


8 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
1 stick butter

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup sugar

3 tablespoons flour

1/4 teaspoon salt

4 eggs
Butter, to coat muffin tin
1 tablespoon cocoa powder

1 cup vanilla ice cream
1 teaspoon espresso powder

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

Place a small metal bowl over a saucepan with simmering water. Melt the chocolate and butter in the bowl. Stir in vanilla.
In a large mixing bowl, combine sugar, flour and salt. Sift these into the chocolate and mix well with electric hand mixer.

Add eggs one at time, fully incorporating each egg before adding the next. Beat at high until batter is creamy and lightens in color, approximately 4 minutes. Chill mixture.


Coat the top and each cup of the muffin tin with butter. Dust with the cocoa powder and shake out excess. Spoon mixture into pan using a 4-ounce scoop or ladle. Bake for 10 to 11 minutes. Outsides should be cake-like and centers should be gooey.
While muffins are in oven, melt the ice cream in a small saucepan. Stir in the espresso powder. Serve over warm muffins.

Following that was a rather perilous bike ride to the bank for to get the rent. Jordan and Cory started on what Jordan described as Vegan Chinese Water Chestnut Cake Jello. I'm putting the recipe below, but you need some kinda strange stuff so I doubt you'll make it but it was very unique and refreshing and mostly Im putting it here so I can find it again later.
Chinese Water Chestnut Cake

1 package (16 oz) Rock Sugar
1 package (250 g) Water Chestnut Starch (sometimes called flour)
1 1/2 cup diced water ches
tnuts
2 litres water

In 1 litre of the water, boil the rock sugar until dissolved.

Add the chestnuts to the boiling pot. Meanwhile mix the rest of the water with starch very well. Add this very slowly to the water and stir over medium high heat until it is very thick and translucent. Pour into a shallow dish or a deeper dish for a bigger "slice" of cake later.

Eat or fry up in a nonstick pan with a small bit of oil.

We watched Orson Wells' F Is For Fake.


Jordan took pictures of us sleeping in bed at night with a polaroid camera. The one eyed kitten is a bed hog

A coworker whispered in my ear "The Ghost Always Know Who To Scare" and nodded at me knowingly.

What the fuck does that mean??? Its driving my batty.

My love of Bowie was reaffirmed. Also it looks like he has been reaffirmed several times himself now.

CHECK OUT THIS ROBOT DOG!



I just screamed and screamed in my head when I saw that.

I ate preserved duck egg with pickled ginger, rice flour donuts. kai lan and chinese soy milk and grass jelly for the first time! And for the duck egg, the last!


But mmmm rice flour doooh-nuts...

Here's the soup I just made.


Chickpea and Leek Soup
From The Naked Chef

Served 6

Ingredients
1 12oz can chickpeas
1 medium potato, peeled and cubed
5 medium leeks
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon butter
2 cloves of garlic, finely sliced
salt and freshly ground pepper
3 cups vegetable or sticken chock (uhhhhh okay I totally noticed that I just typed sticken chock but its so funny Im leaving it.)
Parmesan cheese

Rince the soaked chickpeas, cover with water, cand cook with the potato until tender. Remove the outer skin of the leeks, sliced lengthways from the root up. Wash carefully and slice finely.

Warm a thick-bottomed (teehee) pan, and add the oil and the butter. Add the leeks and garlic to the pan and cook gently with a good pinch of salt until tender. Add the drained chickpeas and potato and cook for 1 minute. Add about two-thirds of the stock and simmer 15 minutes.

Now decide if you want to puree the soup in some sort of processor, or leave it chunky, or do what I do which is puree half and leave the other half whole-- this gives a lovely smooth comforting feel but also keeps a bit of texture. Now add enough of the remaining stock to achieve the consistency you like. Check for seasoning, and add parmesan to taste to round off the flavours.


Sunday, March 23, 2008

DinDins, Darling


Cory and I continued our tradition of eating way too much delicious food on sunday. I made salmon patties, small new potatoes, cauliflower with nutmeg and dill sauce all over everything! THEN I found a frozen pie crust in the freezer from months ago and so I filled it with coconut custard, smothered it in thick shiny chocolate ganache and ate it with a big ol mug of cocoa. Now I want to die. So good. So much food. Help me....


Salmon Cakes

Makes 10 medium sized patties

2 cans boneless, skinless salmon

2 hearty squirts o' mayonnaise

12 soda crackers, crushed or equal amount breadcrumbs

2 green onions, chopped fine
salt and pepper


Mix all that stuff up. Roll into patties. Fry in a very small amount of oil. You can keep these in the oven at 150 degrees until you are ready if you are, uh, not ready yet. I did. Potatoes take 1000 years.

Dill Sauce

makes 2 cups

4 tbps butter

4 tbsp flour

1 cup milk

1 cup water

Bunch of dill

Salt and pepper


Melt butter in a small saucepan on medium-low heat. Stir in flour until completely dissolved into smooth paste. Take off heat and slowly add the milk, stirring constantly to avoid lumps forming. Salt and pepper to taste.


Chocolate Coconut Custard Pie

2/3 cup sugar

1/4 cornstarch

2 1/2 cups coconut milk (or 1 can + 1/2 cup milk)

5 egg yolks (I used 5 whole eggs by accident, turned out okay, just not as velvety)

2-3 tbsp unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
2 tsp vanilla


Make or buy a pie crust! Poke holes in the bottom, give'r a light eggwash with a beaten egg yolk, bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes or until lightly browned. Let cool.


Whisk in a medium saucepan the sugar, cornstarch and salt until well blended. Gradually whisk in the coconut milk and/or milk. Vigorously whisk in the egg yolks until no yellow streaks remain. Whisking constantly, bring to a simmer. Remove from heat and whisk in butter and vanilla until smooth, thick and velvety.


Spoon the filling into pie crust. Refrigerate until firm.


Chocolate Glaze

1 cup bittersweet or semisweet chocolate chips

1/3 cup water, coffee or milk (I chose milk)
6 tbsp butter, chopped in small pieces

Heat chocolate and water/milk/coffee in the top of a double boiler or in a microwave on medium, stirring often, just until chocolate is melted and smooth. Remove from heat and add in butter a few pieces at a time, while stirring. I also added a sprinkle of cinnamon for a little extra taste. Let mixture stand until it cools down a bit and then poor over cooled custard pie. Chill for at least 30 minutes.


The pie was actually exceptionally delicious. Next time I do it I may sprinkle coconut on top or line the edge with big fresh raspberries to contrast the heavy creamy chocolatey feel with a burst of fresh berry. This pie would also be nice with a chocolate or crushed cookie crust. Graham crackers or shortbread, or even Oreo or chocolate cookie.... holy shit Im actually starting to get hungry again. I MUST BE STOPPED.

Toast or Die


Alright, we have a serious problem on our hands.

Apparently, some members of our society today, CORY, feel that when something stops working at peak efficiency, then it is to be thoughtlessly thrown into el garbagio. One such fiend lives with me, and have put their stamp of death onto our poor defenseless toaster. This issue has hit too close to home! Its actually in our kitchen! I say, it's time to take a stand! Cory obviously, would rather just sit down. In his giant pile of refuse. I suppose though it is only fair, that he share his side of this hot button issue. Pun? Cory?

I really don't want to be on your blog.

Alright, so the toaster stays! VIVE LE REVOLTION!

You broke the toaster. Buy me a new toaster. I don't care if it's just a little butter in the toaster, that seems to be causing it not to work. Get me a new toaster.


That kind of thoughtless consumerism is whats ruining oUR ENTIRE WORLD! The toaster works fine, just because everytime you hold the button down, pillars of grey smoke come out. Thats just the butter, eventually it will all burn away.

Did you forget to mention that you have to hold the button down while these pillars of smoke are billowing? That it doesn't toast anything unless the button is held down? Here the final word: you tried to melt butter over the toaster, split all the butter into the toaster and shorted out our toaster. BUY ME A NEW ONE!


Once AGAIN for all the worlds sake I was just trying to be as efficient as humanly possible. How was I to know the blob of butter would melt off the knife. And it doesn't BILLOW, it
just smokes. AND The internal structure is fine, I opened it up. If you just use the hair elastic I have taped to the button to tie it down, and wait a while for the butter to burn into oblivion all will be well. Toaster stays.

I have just come back from smashing the shit out of the toaster and cutting off it's plug. BUY ME A NEW TOASTER!


You know you can fry toast in a pan....


What is this, the fucking dark ages? All my food must be cooked by a machine or an indentured slave woman!


Well I dont have indentures but I pretty much fit the bill for the second option. I hate youuuuu! Someone help me!

Then why are you still typing? Make me some damn toast, woman!

YOUR MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111


Well, I was going to ask your advice, O World, but seeing as the toaster is now officially broken, not just imaginary broken, never fuckin mind. I will just make some cereal.



Syd Barrett - I'm Not Here.mp3

Brigitte Bardot - Contact (remix).mp3

Ween - Flutes of the Chi.mp3

The Db's - Amplifier.mp3


The Clash - Lost In The Supermarket.mp3

h

Friday, March 21, 2008

Good Friday

Plomp.

Today was a spectacularly Good Friday!

I woke up and did the dishes, drank a pot of green tea and ate half a dozen chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. After that I partook in some lazing around. Then our friend Jordan called and we rode our bikes up to the Queens Park station to meet him. We went for lunch at Kings Noodle House, which is probably my new favourite place in the city. If you want really fucking awesome Asian food, go there right now. GO! FUCKING GO RIGHT NOW!!!


I ate about 1000 little puffy egg custard buns, and had a humunnngous bowl of noodle soup while Jordan and Cory shared a giant plate of barbeque'd duck and pork. And they're open til 1am so when I get cravings for egg custard buns at midnight I can bike over there! Another pot of green tea was consumed.

Then we wondered around Kensington market, snacking on some
glutinous rice and bean curd thingies Jordan and I really dig. I bought a sweet apron with fruits on it for a toonie. Drank an iced tea.. and then we went to a second cup to warm our frozen bums annnnd I had a coffee. And THEN while Jordan waited for the bus back to Barrie we went to the Imperial Public Library and I had a BEER while zoning out on a comfy couch staring at the food network on the big screen. Needless to say I had to pee about 8 or 10 times on the way home. Holy shit. Very good day.

Oh, and I just made hummus!


Kara's Lazy Girl Hummus

1 can of chickpeas
2 cloves fresh garlic, chopped

1 lemon

3 spoonfuls of peanut butter
1 tsp cumin

salt and pepper
hot or sweet paprika if available


Drain chickpeas, saving the liquid in a separate bowl, and dump into a food processor. Squeeze juice out of one lemon, add peanut butter, cumin, salt and pepper and puree the crap out of it! If its too stiff, add some of the chickpea juice, its very tasty too. Eat with some pita breads or nacho chips! Im doin' it right now! Mmmmmmmmm HMM!

One Speed Wonder


I GOT A BIKE I GOT A BIKE I GOT
A BIKE I WANTED A BIKE AND I GOT ME

A BIKE A

REAL LIFE BIKE!!!!

Well, Cory got me a bike. At times, he is awesome to an extreme degree. The rest of the time I am punching him. After some tinkering at The Bike Pirates (which I recommend to EVERYONE IN THE WORLD) mainly just getting the wheels all checked out and some sweet shiny fenders on, we was ready to roll. I rode through the city for the first time! Stopped behind Cory at an intersection with my feet resting on the snowy curb, wind blasting hair all over my face a lady stopped to tell us how dedicated and crazy we are. To which I replied giddily "IT'S MY FIRST TIME!" Yayyyyy!

Pink Floyd - Bike.mp3
I've got a bike, you can ride it if you'd like

JJ Cale - Call Me The Breeze.mp3
They call me the breeze, I keep blowin' down the road


The Raconteurs - Steady As She Goes.mp3
Steady as she goes (steady as she goes), Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

Sister Suvi - New Orange Bike.mp3
I am the hottest motherfucker in this room, look at my new bike, look at my new orange bike!

Be Your Own Pet - Bicycle, Bicycle, You Are My Bicycle.mp3

We will come to your town, burn your house down, turn the sky brown All because, all because, all because We're on two wheels baby, We're on two wheels baby

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Double Chocolate Chip Espresso Cookies!


OKAY! We've found a champion.

I REALLY wanted to accompany this post with a picture but... there are none left. Thats right Cory and I ate 2 dozen cookies overnight. Don't judge, you bastards, you don't even know what this was like. Anyway, here's the recipe, I might do some slight adjustments next time, but they were perfect. Crunchy outside, soft and fluffy inside, melting hunks of milk chocolate, nice little espresso flavoury kick, perfect amount of sweetness. Mmmm.. I used my favourite chocolate chip recipe, (Thanks, Aunt Chris!) and added a whole whack of cocoa powder, espresso and upped the brown sugar ratio. Try these, they're wicked.


Double Chocolate Chip Espresso Cookies

1/2 pound butter (2 squares of margarine)
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
1/4 cup espresso (I used an actual espresso shot,
but you could use instant espresso powder if you have that for some reason)

3 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 package milk chocolate chips (2 cups)
5-6 tbsp good quality cocoa powder


Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Sift together dry ingredients in a bowl.

Cream the butter and sugar together for atleast 5 minutes until it get gets light, cream and almost fluffy looking, about 5-8 minutes. Add dry ingredients. Roll into walnut sized balls and pat flat if you want to, freak. I like mine chubby.

Bake 10 minutes, 15 minutes if cookies are large.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Doodle Debut


Bang Bang, Shoot Shoot...

Alright sweetheart?

I did not draw that freaky bear, but it did make me laugh. It smells vaguely like Beavis. Anyway, I have a surprise for you, baby. Something I think you will enjoy. Something that will be so special for the both of us. God its so good. Come with me, and I will show you, the world.

OR! INSTEAD! I'll show you my BRAND NEW DOODLEBOARD!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Click this, bitch!

Kara's Sketchy Doodle Thing

Doodletastic. Doodlerad, doodlawesome, doodlesupercool! I was waxing nostalgic earlier, and missing the good ol times. I would spend hours doodling with whichever poor soul would indulge me on my free glitchy javascript doodle board. The best thing is spacing out and doodling with someone, and then watching the playback like a short crazy cartoon. This was a place dreams were made, folks. And then quickly blotted out with the circle maker tool and turned into a fat goat or angry black lady. Thank god I tracked it down and now its back! I put a link to it in my "If You're Bored" section. So whenever you are bored or lonely, there's a place for you honey britches. Just swing on down to the flip side and do a line or two with me. You won't regret it. Je suis tres tres heureux. Besser-moi, bean breath.

Frank Zappa - Who Are The Brain Police.mp3

Black Sabbath - Evil Woman.mp3

Black Flag - Rise Above.mp3

AMG - Jiggable Pie.mp3

Monday, March 17, 2008

Bale Break

Hot.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Almond Butter Cookies + Lemon Curd


Sunday morning was spent having a nice breakfast with Cory at Johnny G's. Afterwards we came back home, put some music on and while he tinkered with his bike I MADE COOKIES!

Fucking.

Exciting.

There was a recipe in my Middle Eastern cookbook that intrigued me. It's called Ghorayebah, which is like a Middle Eastern butter cookie. The recipe suggested replacing some of the flour with ground hazelnuts for extra delicious melt-in-your-mouthiness. I only had ground almonds so I used that, and then I thought I would dump half a bottle of red food colouring in it to give it ya know, a bit more PIZAZZ. I had to resist making that blink so hard. I think I popped something.


My intent was to cut out tiny pink flower shapes and put them together with a dollop of lemon curd in the middle and then some icing sugar sprinkled on top. How fucking cute would that have been? Well we'll never know because the little buttery bastards turned to puddles. BOO! Tasty little buggers, but far from Cookie Challenge Champignons. Cory disagrees, and thinks they are tasty and that I have a brain disease. Also, I halved the recipe, so, here is exactly what I made. Thats a picture of them by the way, up there, blurred and hiding behind the giant bowl of lemon curd. Which rocks by the way. Mmm.


Almond Butter Cookies
Makes about 50


1 cup unsalted butter

1 1/4 cups superfine sugar

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 cup ground almonds

Blanched almonds - optional

Cream the butter and beat it until it becomes white. Add the sugar, beating constantly for about 5 minutes, until it is a smooth cream. Add Flour gradually, working it in by hand. This will make a very soft dough, thats okay, don't worry, it works okay. If the dough is TOO soft, add a bit more flour. Chill for 15 minutes.
Roll small balls and flatten slightly. Place them on baking sheet quite a good distance away from one another because they do spread out. Stick a blanched almond on top for decoration if you want. Bake in a 325 degree oven for 5-10 minutes. Watch the first batch carefully and make sure to take them out just as they look cooked but before the edges start to brown. Let cool.

Lemon Curd

3/4 cup fresh lemon juice
2 tablespoons finely grated fresh lemon zest

3/4 superfine or granulated sugar

1/2 cup unsalted butter, cut into small bits
3 tablespoons cornstarch

1/2 tsp salt
3 large egg yolks
1 egg white


Whisk lemon juice, zest, sugar, cornstarch, butter and salt together in a metal bowl over a post of gently simmering water. When everything is smooth and melted, very slowly add the egg a little bit at a time. Whisk gently until curd thickens and will hold the indent of the whisk, about 8 minutes. Remove from heat and strain if necessary. Sometimes if the eggs arent tempered right you get little white cooked bits that strain out pretty easily.


Bahoohahee


1:11 am, there is a gorgeous breeze coming in from the window that smells undeniably of spring. I am sitting as close as possible to the window, sipping licorice tea and inventing cookies. Theres so many recipes!! I have this recipe from the 60s for potato chip cookies which is begging to be played with, I have to do my aunt chris's super special chocolate chip cookies only perhaps turn them into little soft plops of double chocolate espresso goodness wa ha ha. There is a middle eastern recipe I have been wanting to try for melt in your mouth almond cookies. green tea cats tongues, cherry florentines, white chocolate macademia nut, sugar cookies, black forest cookies, chewy chai tea cookies! Gahhhhh... I will make a poll! Ill narrow it down to maybe.. 10.. or 12.... yeah.... 12ish.. recipes and you can vote. AND YOU BETTER VOTE! This is a serious fucking matter of great importance, theres no room for dicking around people! I need your help! For every vote I will make them and post the results with pictures!

YAYY!


Jens Lekman - One Dollar Thought.mp3

Calexico - Alone Again Or.mp3

Born Ruffians - I Need A Life.mp3



Thursday, March 13, 2008

IF - Garden


Garden

Just a very quick doodle to meet the Illustration Friday deadline! Phoo!

15 minutes, india ink on crappy yellowy paper with a #2 brush.

Cookie Challenge!


Oh, it's on, y'all bitches! A showdown will soon take place. A challenge truly worthy of my effort and small amount of pocket change.

COOKIE CHALLENGE!!

Haha sweet, blinking text, right, on. Thats right!! My coworkers and I have decided to try to one up one another using cookies as thinly veiled vehicles of our own egotism to prove who is Best Above All The Rest. How awesome and delicious. So I have a few cookie recipes Im thinking of doing. I'll post one a day for your valued thoughts and considerations. You are all my allies in this my Cookie Campaign of Chaos and Carnage! RAWRR!

Hahahaaaa thats so great.

So here is a recipe Im going to do, not for the challenge at ALL, just because I want to taste them. They are called Cats Tongues if you do them long and thin, and tuiles if you do them in a circle and fold them like a U shape. Very good for dipping in things.. like tea.. or creme caramel.. or Jell-o Brand chocolate pudding! They are like dessert nachos. Only fancy and french. Below is what a Cats Tongue cookie would look like if it were to become a Cookie Monster!


Cats Tongues
En Français.. Langues de Chat
En Español.. Lenguas de Gato
Auf Deutsch... Katzezunge!!!!



4 tbsp butter
1/2 cup packed confectioner's sugar
Pinch kosher salt
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 large egg whites
1/2 cup AP flour

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper. In a stand mixer with whisk attachment, cream the butter, sugar and salt until very well creamed. Start this, and then walk around the kitchen doing other things for awhile. Creaming is important. Add the vanilla and one egg white and mix to combine, (here the dough starts to look like it might break, but it won't. Don't worry.), then add the second egg white and mix until just combined; fold in the flour, half and a time, until the batter is smooth. Place in refrigerator for 30 minutes.

Scoop the batter into a pastry bag with a 1/4" tip, or do what I did; put the batter in a good quality plastic zip-top bag and cut a 1/4" hole in one tip; instant pastry bag! Pipe the pastry onto the parchment-lined sheets in thin strips, about 3 inches long. Bake for 8-10 minutes, rotating the pan halfway to insure even browning. Remove when the tongues are golden and cool on racks. I found it easiest to just slide the whole parchment onto a rack to allow the cookies to crisp before trying to remove them.

Thanks to Restaurant Widow for that recipe!

The weather outside has been kind of cold and sloppy. I'm listening to some shiny time music and pretending otherwise.

Gnarls Barkley - Smiley Faces.mp3

Frank Frost - My Back Scratcher.mp3

Heike Has The Giggles - Two Sisters.mp3

Ween - Oh Va La.mp3

XTC - Stupidly Happy.mp3

La la la!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Swedish Berries Fountain Puke


I love Swedish berries. Its True. Oh I want to keep you wee berries but I may be forced to puke you up, my babies. Don't worry the toilet is a good a home as any. Its cool and tranquil which is poles apart from the heated chaos of my eager mouth hole. Nyum nyum nyum.

I'm a bit drunkish and should be doing the dishes before The Man gets home from work and frowns at how lazy my ass is. Luckily I have been blessed with a most effective distraction device... boobies. Two of them, even. Wa, ha ha ha. Alright, here's some music, Im off to give my family a call. I can't stop listening to this Wye Oaks song, even though my copy, and the copy Im sharing here with you stops very abruptly. It's worth trying to track down a good copy though, I will do that, just not right now okay? Also this Aidan Moffat album is sounding about as sexy and interesting as they come, here's a couple of things off that.


Aidan John Moffat - The Boy That You Love.mp3

Wye Oaks - I Don't Feel Young.mp3

Kristy MacColl and Evan Dando -Perfect Day.mp3

The Fruitbats - The Little Acorn.mp3


Echo and the Bunnymen - Cutter.mp3

Talking Heads - Love Goes To Building On Fire.mp3

Aidan John Moffat - Good Morning.mp3

Also, I like this. It's cute and cheap. Lego Ipod Speakers. Well done.


Sunday, March 9, 2008

I Love You, Kims Sister!


Welcome to the Play by Play of Kara's Most Awesome Party Time Excellent Weekend!

Party Time. Excellent.

So, Friday after work, I come home carrying bags of Pepsi Cola, Drumstick Icecream Cones, Lottery Tickets and a single pack of Hubba Bubba for me but thats not really Party Time or Excellent. Below are some artists renderings of how your tongue would see these delicious things if it had eyes. So as you can clearly see, the night started off pretty good.

Then the pants came off, entire stuffed crust pizzas disappeared into our faces and we watched Hitman until we could no longer move or understand anything that was happening in the movie at all. Which may not have been entirely our fault, I think the plot was pretty much swiss cheese. Or we may have just been watching the opening sequence of the popular Playstation game, over and over again, as neither of us was pressing the A button. Who knows. How could Interpol NOT find this guy anyway, he's running around in a very awkward suit, bald as your mommas nether regions, with a tattoo on his HEAD waving guns and swords and hand grenades and karate chops around in public. Gah. And look at those puppy dog eyes? Im supposed to believe this is a robotic killer?


I can see forever in those caramel pools of loneliness. Someone hug this man! NO DON'T!! YOU'LL GET BALD ON YOU!!!


Saturday was very nice, waking up around noon. Leisurely breakfast at Johnny G's on Parliament. It was a nice sunny and snowy day. We walked up to a glass store called Art Nouveau so Cory could buy some ruby glass for his photography assignment. I may take a class there actually, the owners were sweethearts. Then it was off to Queen West, which was actually an arduous but enjoyable journey as the light fluffy snow started turning a bit violent. I literally froze my nips off. They are laying in the snow somewhere along Queen street. If anyone finds them please put them in my mailbox. Merci. Anyway, we got to our destination, the discount fabic shop and Cory lugged a giant bolt of black velvet back home through the snowstorm. We got home just in time for the Breeders concert!!

WHICH FUCKING RULED!!


I am in love with the Deal sisters. They are fucking adorable. The show, though intimate due to the storm, had so much energy. Gah. It was so good. Kelly shouted "Why aren't you fucking people at home!? There's a blizzard!" Hearing No Aloha, Divine Hammer and Cannonball live-- oh man. They also did some stuff from their new album, which rocked, and a couple of things in german and very broken spanish. It was great to see them smiling and squinting hard, tongues hanging out of their mouths, like they could barely play their instruments and didnt know what was going to happen next. WOo!

And then! We ate chinese food, and went to bed. A weekend full of food, beer, music and debaucher is a weekend very well spent. Mmmhmm.. And NOW Im still in bed, eating Rice Krispies with banana and writing this. And NOW IM NOT! BYE SUCKERS!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Don't Weeze The Bean Juice


>8)
Damn it, Trebek. Would you put a goddamn shirt on!

Mm... I know who's bringing sexy 'Bek.

HAAA

Yeah, okay, so, it's different. I know. Green is much beloved to me, but today I felt overwhelmed by the onslaught of chartreuse. So I stripped off my blog's old tatty clothes, slapped its ass and sent it back into the world. Nervous, bright eyed, and a little nipply to be honest, its cold out there. Anyway, you like it, it's fine, let's move on!

Alison Krauss & Union Station - New Favourite.mp3

Nada Surf - Blonde on Blonde.mp3

Adel Bengo - Keep You Here.mp3

Mgmnt - Weekend Wars.mp3

The Aquabats - Pizza Day.mp3


That last tune doesn't really jive with the others, but it made me smile. Remember at school, the sanctuary that was Pizza Day? I miss having something like that. I think I may institute Pizza Day from now on. Mmm.. So After work I went shopping for instant yeast and a bottle of vodka. Here's what I made!

Home Brewed Vanilla Extract

1 bottle of vodka
2-3 vanilla beans


Now there seems to be a few ways to go about doing this, but this is how I did it. We'll see how it works. So, crack open that bottle o' Voddy and take a swig to make room for the impending bean action. Or in my case, take 2 or 3 swigs and replace a bit with some Brandy, or Rum. Cut the vanilla beans into half inch pieces and toss them in. And Shake-a-shake-shake. AND Shake-a-shake-shake. Stick this in a cupboard for minimum 3 weeks, but preferably 3 months. Take it out of the cupboard every week and give'r a good solid churning. I read that you can keep the beans in there for up to 3 years. Cheap and Easy! Of course after making this I find this awesome site with some more great recipes. Anyway, have a look! VanillaRocks.com

'Tis Wednesday which means it is $7 Life Drawing Class at the 'Glad. BUT for the 4th week in a row, Im not going! HA! Take that nudies! Instead Im gonna do the dishes, and make some Pizza Pie! Oh baby!

Easiest Pizza Dough Ever!

Thanks to King Arthur Flour

This makes a terrific “do-it-yourself-party!” All you do is make this simple dough and provide plenty of toppings and grated cheese. Your guests will have fun doing the rest. This recipe makes 3 to 4 twelve-inch pizzas. For a larger party, you can easily double it.

FIRST, about two hours before the party: Dissolve in 2 cups warm water, in this order, 1 tablespoon each of sugar, active dry yeast (or 1 packet), and salt. Blend in with a large spoon 5 to 6 cups King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour (you can also add 2 tablespoons of olive oil for flavor). Turn out onto a floured surface and knead until smooth and springy. Clean and grease your bowl, place the dough in it, cover and let rise until doubled in bulk (1 to 2 hours). Now proceed with your pizza!

NEXT, preheat your oven to 450°F and cut your dough, which you’ve punched down, into 4 pieces.

THEN, roll out each piece, on a floured surface, with a floured rolling pin, into a circle to fit a 12” pizza pan. (To roll, work from the center to the outside like pie dough. Let the dough rest several times to relax it and make it more cooperative. Turn it over from time to time and roll the reverse side.)

NEXT, brush on a bit of olive oil, spread pizza or spaghetti sauce lightly over the surface, and let your guests add their own toppings! Sprinkle the top with grated cheese.

LAST, bake for 15 minutes.

Anyway, the cat is mewing forlornly by her bowl so Im off to feed the stanken cat and do some stankener dishes. Peace OUT.


Sunday, March 2, 2008

IF - Leap


leap

Upon the couch I sat, unmoving as to not make any distracting squeeky leather noises with the wiggling of me bum, breathing steadily. As the rhythm of my nostrils slowed my mind cleared and I put upon the pedestal of my imagination one word: Leap. Above it three golden clouds then appeared. Each one bore an idea to give inspiration for this word.

1. Quantum ____
2. ____ Frog
3. Awesome Rock and Roll Guitar Solos ____ing around the stage

So it was then I was forced by the cloud muses to draw Scott Bakula rocking out on his air guitar to an audience of a singular chubby toad. Why is he not wearing pants? Why the hell not? He's Scott Bakula, are you going to mess with that?

Weapons: #B pencil with mostly chewed pink eraser on the end
Time: One Lone, Leisurely, Beer Influenced Hour
Modus Operandi: Cartoonish

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Honey Bees and Lava Cakes

Bzzorm.

So I have been doing some serious and heavy research, on chocolate desserts. Tonight I was exploring the tongular delight that is Molten Lava Cakes. Damn. DAMN! Have you tasted this shit? Its the best thing in the world maybe. So I have a couple of recipes for it now, some have a few different ingredients such as liqueus, espresso, or uhhh salt. So it's down to Paula Dean and Williams Sonoma. Probably going to make the one from my Williams Sonoma dessert book. BUT I was also looking into kind of ice cream I could blob on top of this warm gooey pot of chocosex. I came across Haagen Daaz's Save The Honeybees campaign on their site. Its very pretty, cute and interactive. Help The Honey Bees. You can even make a bee! The one above looks EXACTLY like my sister. Now she would truly be, a bumble bee! HAHAHAHAAA

Animal Collective - Chocolate Girl.mp3

Muscles - Chocolate Raspberry Lemon and Lime.mp3

Tom Waits - Chocolate Jesus.mp3


William Sonoma Molten Chocolate Cakes

8 oz. bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped

4 Tbs. (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, cut into pieces

1 tsp. vanilla extract

Pinch of salt

4 egg yolks

6 Tbs. sugar

2 Tbs. Dutch process cocoa powder, sifted

1 tsp. finely grated orange zest (optional)

3 egg whites, at room temperature

Crème anglaise for serving

Directions:

Preheat an oven to 400°F. Lightly butter six 3/4-cup ramekins and dust with cocoa powder. Set the ramekins on a small baking sheet.

In the top pan of a double boiler, combine the chocolate and butter. Set the pan over but not touching barely simmering water in the bottom pan and melt the chocolate and butter, then whisk until the mixture is glossy and smooth. Remove from the heat and stir in the vanilla and salt. Set aside to cool slightly.

In a large bowl, using an electric mixer, beat the egg yolks, 3 Tbs. of the sugar, the cocoa powder and the orange zest on medium-high speed until thick. Spoon the chocolate mixture into the yolk mixture and beat until well blended. The mixture will be very thick.

In a bowl, using clean beaters, beat the egg whites on medium-high speed until they are very foamy and thick. Sprinkle in the remaining 3 Tbs. sugar and increase the speed to high. Continue beating until firm, glossy peaks form. Spoon half of the beaten whites onto the chocolate mixture and whisk in until just blended. Add the remaining whites and stir gently until just blended. Spoon into the prepared ramekins, dividing evenly.

Bake the cakes until they are puffed and the tops are cracked, about 13 minutes. The inside of the cracks will look very wet. Remove from the oven and serve immediately in the ramekins. Or run the tip of a small knife around the inside of each ramekin to loosen the cake, then invert the cakes onto individual plates. Serve with a drizzle of crème anglaise. Serves 6.

Variation: If you would like your molten chocolate cakes to have crunchy bottoms and sides, dust the buttered ramekins with superfine sugar instead of with cocoa powder.