Tuesday, April 8, 2008

YouTube Horrorfest


Here's a list of my most current worst fears, illustrated with You Tube. Despite the serious discrepancies with rational behaviour to which they may lead, I fear most that I am not alone in having more than a few of these Heebies/Jeebies.



Crabs - anything with an exoskeleton freaks me out




Falling asleep - The dude that crouches on my ceiling. I can't go into detail, but, terrifying




My feet touching other peoples feet - Keep your fucking feet off mine! They are cold and bony, ew grosssssss




Crunching bones and/or cartilage between my teeth
- I had to stop eating bunnies, its sad and really starting to effect my love life




At times I want to punch people in the neck until the die
- This scares me a lot.



Toilet snakes - Right in your bum!




Intestinal Worms - Right out of your bum! I share my food with NO ONE.




Closets - Don't you think theres a reason children are inherently terrified of closets? There's fucked up shit in there at night!



Italians - Casino is a horror movie.





Old School Spiderman's web shooters - wtf why is it coming out of his veins??



The Deep South
- Especially Old Timey Deep South. No coincidence 1028102818 horror movies are set there. Fucking scary as shit.
Hitting the ground at a high velocity and feeling it - That smarts.



Biting on popsicles
- Gives me the heebie fucking jeebies.




Old people
- Used to scare me, but now they are all dead. They dont have anything to lose so they will just fuck with you. Old Bastards.



Being locked in the bathroom - Since Stephen King's It, this has been a fear of mine.



El Chupacabre
- LEAVE ME ALONE!




Elliot Gould
- I once had a particularly vivid dream where I was brutally raped by Elliott Gould. Now whenever MASH comes on TV I just scream and scream and scream. Oh god I can still feel the chest hair...



Lava
- Burnssssssss meeeee



Pervert ghosts - watching me while I take my number twos. You know how many dead people there are? There could be masses of dead freaks watching you while you grunt and plop about. Its horrifying.

and


Wormbies.

Beware Wormbies.

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