Monday, April 7, 2008

Sex Bomb, Kaboom

So, Ive been developing an alter ego. She, me, is a kinda suave kinda sexy bond girl type with big hair and even bigger tits. Her sweaters are too tight and she likes shootin' guns. She sucks men in and spits them out, literally. She suffers from a chronically debilitating learning disability. She is Marsha Roastmellow. I will actively seek out commonalities with this persona until gradually we are one. Breast augmentation and karate skills are the first step.

I have also created alter egos for my siblings. The boy shall now be Hot Pot Ding Dong.. or Hot Ding Pot Dong.. or... Hot Dong Pot Ding.. heh heh.. hehehe.. obviously he's the sidekick of the yet to be found main figure of our story. And uhh and the girl, that is, my sister, will be Stubs the Antagonist. Stubs Littlewalk. She has tiny wee legs.

Its so sexy outside, if it were not for laundry duties I would be walking to Riverdale farm to check out the horsies. Instead of hanging out here checking out the whoresies. Hm spellcheck didnt pick up on that one. Is whoresies
a word? Wtf. I dont really have anything meaningful to blog about, but really who ever fucking does? Bunch of lameasses. Pffft. I really just couldnt look at that frizzy haired St Vincent chick one single more time, so here I am, posting this drivel.

Speaking of whores, Im thinking of starting a web comic. Fuck you, I think its a fine idea. Keep your eyes peeled for signs of this actually happening. For now..

Rita Chao and the Quests - Hanky Panky.mp3

Swell Maps - Blam!!

France Gall - Jazz A Go Go.mp3

Brigitte Bardot - Contact.mp3

Raquel Welch - I'm Ready To Groove.mp3

I made some cinnamon buns while I was back in Barrie this weekend. They took all bloody morning to do but they were sooooo gooood. Here's the recipe. The filling mostly seems to melt out but you just spoon in over top of the buns and its extra delicious. Im going to try to find a recipe where the filling stays dryer. The dough was perfect.

Cinnamon Buns

1 teaspoon white sugar
1 package active dry yeast
1/2 cup warm water
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 cup butter
1 teaspoon salt

2 eggs, beaten

4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup butter
3/4 cup brown sugar

1 cup chopped pecans, divided

3/4 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
1/4 cup melted butter


1. In a small bowl, dissolve 1 teaspoon sugar and yeast in warm water. Let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes. Warm the milk in a small saucepan until it bubbles, then remove from heat. Mix in 1/4 cup sugar, 1/4 cup butter and salt; stir until melted. Let cool until lukewarm.

2. In a large bowl, combine the yeast mixture, milk mixture, eggs and 1 1/2 cup flour; stir well to combine. Stir in the remaining flour, 1/2 cup at a time, beating well after each addition. When the dough has pulled together, turn it out onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic, about 8 minutes.

3. Lightly oil a large bowl, place the dough in the bowl and turn to coat with oil. Cover with a damp cloth and let rise in a warm place until doubled in volume, about 1 hour.

4. While dough is rising, melt 3/4 cup butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Stir in 3/4 cup brown sugar, whisking until smooth. Pour into greased 9x13 inch baking pan. Sprinkle bottom of pan with 1/2 cup pecans; set aside. Melt remaining butter; set aside. Combine remaining 3/4 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup pecans, and cinnamon; set aside.

5. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface, roll into an 18x14 inch rectangle. Brush with 2 tablespoons melted butter, leaving 1/2 inch border uncovered; sprinkle with brown sugar cinnamon mixture. Starting at long side, tightly roll up, pinching seam to seal. Brush with remaining 2 tablespoons butter. With serrated knife, cut into 15 pieces; place cut side down, in prepared pan. Cover and let rise for 1 hour or until doubled in volume. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).

6. Bake in preheated oven for 25 to 30 minutes, until golden brown. Let cool in pan for 3 minutes, then invert onto serving platter. Scrape remaining filling from the pan onto the rolls.


Wendy77 said...

I dunno if you've seen this yet

But if you put one together i would totally buy it. Also, I got a puppy!

Kara said...

I KNOW I HEARD YOU BITCH! Burmese mountain dog puppies are the cutest puppies in the whole world. Im actually extremely jealous. I WANT TO COME SEE IT!!!!!