Friday, May 23, 2008

Sickly Little Girl

Okay so, guys, I have the shits. I dont know when its going to strike next. Im shit scared here man. Im on shits and needles.

God Im so ill. Im so very ill. Hack cough whine wheeze squirt and so on and so forth. I have to make some applesauce as soon as humanly possibly but I dont want to start cooking and be repeatedly... interrupted. I almost said "by prolonged wet farts" there but I stopped myself, I am a lady after all. Oh feck.

Yeah so, Ive been either in bed, the bath, or highly medicated and interacting with the general public. Not so much a great idea, but couldnt be helped. The bacon needs to be brought home and the pants need to be warn. Pantless bacon neglecting is for hippies.

I went home from work early yesterday and slept for hours and days. Around 7 I decided that it was beautiful enough outside and that the sunshine had earned the right therefore to bask in me. So I went for a quick-- well cripple-slow, but short-- walk in the park, took in the blooming trees and the barking puppies at the new dog park and SAW A DEAD BODY!


A dude laying on the ground, clearly very dead, with some other dudes standing around him. Looming? Waiting? Hungry! Stabby?!

Now being as I am literally floating off the ground on my combo of sinus meds and anti-cough fluids and sporting a hot, sexy fever I got very paranoid and speed-walked (spedwalked?) behind the nearest building in case I was next. Or Zombies were attacking. Or that Radiohead video was finally happening where everyone just lays on the ground. Anyway ambulances came speeding up and equally as speedily threw an orange bag over the young fellow. Wtf... nice walk in the park leads to scarring mortal experience.

THE BIG DEAL though is that it wasnt really a big deal. I saw a hawk once in the park and was more shaken. Dead bodies strewn about the park and I just have a peek, and continue on to buy some Diet Pepsi. I also saw a dude playing led zeppelin on his accordion. Toronto is a weird fucking place man.

Anyroad, this is a rather rambly type post. I really just wanted to whine about how pathetically diseased I am, ya know, in case I shit myself inside out and the cops arrest Cory as El Chupocabra and murdering me. And I wanted to publically announce that the number of dead bodies I have been within a yard of this year is now: 2. And now thats done!

That is all.


Wendy77 said...


Well i think it arrived days ago but it came in this massive official looking box and my name was in tiiiiny print so at first I thought it was some boring official thing for mom. But i opened it yesterday and i LOVE it! THANK YOUUUUUU X 99!

I;m keeping track of my favourite ones so that I can order more later. Hannah had to convince me that it wasn't a good idea to sit there all day and use up every packet systematically, drinking cup after cup of delicious tea.


Kara said...

YAY! Im glad you liked it! I always find these cool things and always want to give them to someone and you always end up being the only one I know who would even remotely like it. Awesome!