Thursday, August 28, 2008

Beorge Grown

OKAY SO I have a lot to bllllerg about but Im so goddamn tuckered I really don't think I can manage. I'm typing this to see how long I can go and if I manage to say anything I'd like to by coincidence while doing so.

Today I had my orientation day at George Brown and Im so fecking excited Ive just been dancing about like a moron wearing my chef jacket since I got home. So much free stuff was given out, so many quiet nerdy Asian friends were made, so many hands were shaken. That's a chef thing, I'm told I better get used to shaking hands. Cory is going to help me practice before school starts. FUCK I'm so excited!! This is the first september out of the last 5 or 6 I will be entering without a knot in my stomach and my insides shouting "no no no don't do it!". This is where I am supposed to be.

Due to being accepted uh, pretty much at the beginning of this week, it's just been a whirlwind of stuff to do and places to go and papers to get in order. I really just cant wait to get started. I'm a little bit nervous, because I don't have a whole lot of experience but Hilary at work assured me that no one will have much if any. We will all be a bunch of ignorant bastards in silly hats. Phew.


One year will definitely not be enough. I'm hungry for more already. When I heard that George Brown has a school in India where you can go and learn to cook Indian Food I nearly fell on the floor, eyes rolling back, slobbering. peeing willy nilly all about in a fit of joy. I can't imagine anything more awesome than that. Well I can. Having a ghost as a best friend. But this is definitely #2! We'll see how it goes...

Saturday, August 23, 2008



Am I ever busy. Theres so much I should be doing right now. Fuck it. I'm hungry. I'll make this!

Mustard Butter Broccoli Pasta

Amended from PatentInThePantry

1/2 cup butter

5 tbsp. Dijon mustard

1 clove garlic, finely minced
2 crowns of broccoli
3/4 pound penne pasta H
erbs such as parsley or chives, optional

Salt and pepper

Bring a pot of water to boil, add salt and pasta. Cook until 3 minutes before pasta is al dente and then add the broccoli, and cook until finished.

Meanwhile in a small saucepan melt the butter. Add the garlic, herbs, and pepper. When pasta is tender, drain it and the broccoli and in a large bowl toss with the mustard butter dressing. Season with salt and pepper if necessary.

I made it! It was delicious, and took less than 8 minutes. So fast! Oh yes! Check out Patent in the Pantry's food blog of greatness, there's some good eating on there!

By the power of Greyskull I'm tired. I have much to tell you! But I'll do it later! I got into George Brown! I'm gonna be a good little baker girl! I'm pissing myself with joy. My chef's knife is ten shiny inches of high carbon surgical steel, baby, and Ive been stroking it and thinking of sweet stuff all night. Now I have to do my dishes. Peace out, bitches

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Ginger Snaps and Peaches

I'm just home from work and feel like a bloody zombie. Well, maybe not a bloody zombie because blood would mean they maybe found some delicious brains to snack on and are feeling pretty high on themselves. I feel like a pale, hungry zombie who wants to crawl back into her wormy hole in the ground and give death another shot. Hoping against hope that a cup of tea, a fresh peach and a couple of Ginger Crisp Biscuitswill invigorate me some. Mmm yes.

On the weekend I bought approximately 1 Buttload of Peaches. Thats the metric system, mind you. Failing at the endeavor of devouring them all in one go I decided to make a pie! But I don't really like cooked peaches... I really don't.. so I was so, like, totally stoked dude, when I found this recipe for a fresh peach tart where there is no cooking of the peaches involved. I thought it sounded a little weird at first but it came out bursting with flavour and C-Face and I got a bit Pie In The Sky and hoovered it up that night and for breakfast the next morning. Excellent cold pie, next time I will use fresh squeezed orange juice though cause I found it tasted as much like orange as it did peach. Oh well!

Fresh Peach and Orange Pie
Courtesy of

Serves 8

1 pre-baked pie crust


Water to cover
6 peaches
1/2 cup sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
Zest of an orange
1 cup orange juice (fresh-squeezed is wonderful)
1 tablespoon butter
1 teaspoon almond extract


1 cup whipping cream
2 tablespoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon almond extract

Bring water to boil in a saucepan. Two or three at a time, drop peaches into boiling water for 1 minute. Remove with slotted spoon, let cool. Slice to the pit lengthwise, slip off skins. Slice each half into six pieces, then halve the pieces.

*** OR do what I do and just score the bottom of each peach and then in a large bowl, pour boiling water from your electric kettle over the peaches and let them sit for 2-3 minutes. Carefully dump out that water and replace it with cold water. Peel and slice!

Stir together sugar, cornstarch and zest in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Slowly stir in orange juice and cook til thickened, stirring often. Remove from heat and stir in butter and extract. Gently combine with peaches and turn into pie crust. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 2 – 3 hours.

Just before serving, whip cream with an electric mixer. While still beating, slowly add sugar and extract, then beat til stiff peaks form. Spoon into a freezer bag, snip off a corner and squeeze whipped cream decoratively onto the pie.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Spaghetti Inspector

In between all the shuffling and bustling I read food blogs. Endlessly. I can't get enough. Through this I found my new favourite site to obsessively check, Tastespotting. And through THAT I found a food blog which linked to Very Good Taste that had this list called...

The Omnivores Hundred.
Da-da-da DA!

It's a list of weird, strange, delicious and not so delicious foods. As a vegetarian I'm not going to have experienced a whole lot of things here but it's still pretty fun to do. I had to look quite a few of these things up.

Yeah I'm a veg, but Id nibble a chunk of croc if you set it in front of me-- how often do you get to eat something like that!

Here’s what I want you to do:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison - not my cup of tea
2. Nettle tea - also not my cup of tea..
3. Huevos rancheros - looking forward to trying this!
4. Steak tartare
Crocodile - I should like to eat a crocodiles belly
6. Black pudding
- holy crap, ever gross
7. Cheese fondue - FONDue childhood memories, haaaa
8. Carp - not a fish I would seek out with the intention of eating, really
9. Borscht - Borscht makes me grow up strong man make mama proud
10. Baba ghanoush - I want some right now. On a pizza. With falafel pepperoni
11. Calamari - Split an order with C's mum and polished it off, so it musta been good
12. Pho - The word "tripe" is very off putting, it gives me past life flashbacks of when I was an old english school marm sharing a piece of tripe with my cats
13. PB&J sandwich - probably dinner tonight
14. Aloo gobi - I work with a kitchen full of Sri Lankan gents, this is lunch every day
15. Hot dog from a street cart - I always end up throwing these up, yet get back up and try again
16. Epoisses - a kind of stinky cheese? Im in.
17. Black truffle - I had a wee piece on top of caviar and foie gras. Verdict: Bleah
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes - strawberry wine with my sister, and I got FUCKED up on celery wine with this ancient hippy on a mountain, talking about how oxygen originated in his back yard while his wife showed me her handmade quilts
19. Steamed pork buns - Jordan introduced us to these in China Town
20. Pistachio ice cream - I CRAVE THIS SO MUCH. Also that crappy pistachio jell-o. Mm.
21. Heirloom tomatoes - I see these all the time but have never tried one, will have to
22. Fresh wild berries - eaten with blue and/or red fingers, yeah
23. Foie gras - Smooshy and unappealing
24. Rice and beans - Hell yeah, mother fucker!
25. Brawn, or head cheese - gag gag gag gag barf gag death
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper - I would eat this, but only for money, I treasure the use of my tastebuds
27. Dulce de leche - Mmmm
28. Oysters - Little rotten grey vaginas
29. Baklava - Ive had good bakalava and bad convenience store baklava
30. Bagna cauda - I hadn't heard of this but it doesnt sound too bad
31. Wasabi peas - These and soy nuts are nice snacks for hungry squirrel girls
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl - That sounds freaking delicious
33. Salted lassi - This is what I imagine gulping down a glass of room temperature camel spunk would taste like
34. Sauerkraut - Ich esse meine Feinde für Abendessen und Sauerkraut für Nachtisch!
35. Root beer float - Never as good as it is in my head
36. Cognac with a fat cigar - only after I pleasure my many hot girlfriends
37. Clotted cream tea - one of my favourite things in life ever
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O - like a jello shooter? Nearly polished off 2 trays by myself
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects - maybe for survival, if there were no food, plants, dirt, feces or dead bodies around
43. Phaal - Don't like the sound of this one
44. Goat’s milk - tastes a little too goat teety for me
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more - really quickly, before the rich old dude who owned it came home
46. Fugu - Uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm eating chubby little pufferfishes makes me frown
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel - eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut - hot off the conveyor belt, bitches!
50. Sea urchin - What!? Why! Get that out of your mouth! Put that back in the tide pool! Wtf!
51. Prickly pear - Way too much work and I felt like I had a moustache for days after
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone- a balogne, maybe
54. Paneer - Mm!
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal - once, long ago, when I was a younger, more foolish girl and didnt realize it didnt come with a toy
56. Spaetzle - quite a nice little noodle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine - my biological mother
60. Carob chips - more like Carap chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin - isnt that mud?? I am absolutely certain this is in a face mask cream I have and I have accidentally gotten it into my mouth. That COUNTS, damn it!
64. Currywurst - wurst idea ever.
65. Durian - as my darling C once said, "Durian smells like balls"
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake - this is my grocery list this week
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain - mm!
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette - Don't even know what the first one is but its not going anywhere near my mouth!
71. Gazpacho - One of my favourite words and least favourite soups
72. Caviar and blini - not my bag
73. Louche absinthe - why the heck not!
74. Gjetost, or brunost - the description of this doesnt sound too bad but I have a feeling it's not a looker
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu - a Mongol Commander in Persia??

77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail - apparently when I ate this I made a brand new facial expression no one had ever seen before
79. Lapsang souchong - This tea tastes like stank
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict - I've only had a little taste of Mr. C's, and made some, never actually eaten the whole shebang
83. Pocky - Oh, YEAH!
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers - sugared pansies, rosies, dandelions, echinacea, chamomille, nasturtiums, clovers--- uhhh pretty much any flower Ive seen, if no one was looking, I uh, ate it
89. Horse - Yeah I'll eat that horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam - can you still buy Spam? For eating purposes?
92. Soft shell crab - *Screeeammmmmmm*
93. Rose Harissa - Who?
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano - oddly good. Mole mole mole
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor - This might be the only way I would actually eat lobster
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Wow, that took me a good hour or so. I'm exhausted. And hungry. Wait no, disgusted-- no, hungry again. I have tried a lot more things on here than I thought I would have, I think 49/100. Not bad for a vegetarian anyway.

Thanks Very Good Taste for this list!


So the banana bread recipe aside, I haven't done a new blog entry since July 28th. Stuff gets crazy sometimes, esse. Things of note that has gone on hence and since are:

- Moving the C-Minus into his brand spanking new apartment where all the spanking goes on.
- Painting my apartment a kinda yellow kinda tan kinda creamy neutral like colour
- Moved stuff all around. New Beds! Now I sleep in the living room! Yay! One step closer to actually living in the kitchen! Oh I shall dream sweet dreams by refrigerator glow...
- Driving around. Lots. Paying for parking, lots.
- Eating lots and hanging out with the Fam
- Doing poor work with Jiggly Puff in Super Smash Bros
- Things I have made: Silky Chocolate Raspberry Tart with Chocolate Shortbread Crust, a spur of the moment Quickly Before They Go Bad Plum and Peach Crumble, and Brioche Sticky Buns from Dorie Greenspan's book which I am going to marry. They are swirly little cinnabuttery orgasms!
- Thinking murderous thoughts about certain Higher Ups and Powers That Be
- Melting into puddles of sunshine on my living room floor, feeding my pigeon, kittens and plants, having nice little conversations with strangers that arent just mindless small talk, reading comic books, stuffing myself full of lactose and releasing it in small, short bursts over a long period of time!

Escape from the Cat Piss Stink

Whaa what's in there...

Hooray, it's me! Hooray!

I know, I know. I've been negligent in the performance of my bloggly duties. It's okay, you don't have to pretend like you haven't even noticed. I know it's only an act to hide the wounds caused by my absence. But you know what they say, even mountaineering has it's inherent dangers. What? Yeah well it does. Mountains are haunted by goats. Does this make sense? I cant tell!

LOOK WHAT I DID, MA! I went done made me some fine banana bread! Now ain't that just the lizards gizzards! I did other stuff too but thats a yarn for another sweater or someshit. If you're craving banana bread this makes the smoothiest creamiest most decadent banana bread ever! No dry crumbly yellow stuff! Even tho
ugh I'm not knocking that because as Hefty C mentioned earlier its very good with tea. And anything thats good with tea is good with me. It's the best banana bread I've ever had. No pictures will appear here though. For although it was I who stole the BroBots digital camera some time ago I carried on my enduring hobby of neglect and left the power cord behind to be discovered by it's rightful owner. Or a third party of an unsavoury character who will turn me when the timing suits them. Now here comes the recipe!

(Here is where I would put a picture of a mouth watering banana loaf I pillaged from the world wide web but I won't bother c
ause I know you know what it looks like Con Sarn It All! So instead here is a picture of my sous-chef Jeff Buckley mashing my bananas for me. Mmm..)

Flour Bakery's Banana Bread
makes 2 loaves, or 1 loaf and a dozen muffins

3¼ cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
½ teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon salt
4 large eggs at room temp. for 30 minutes
2 1/3 cups sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
3 cups coarsely massed, very ripe bananas (6 large)
1/4 cup creme fraiche
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 1/3 cups walnuts toasted and chopped (optional)

Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter 2 metal loaf pans (9x5x3), then dust with flour knocking out excess.

Sift together 3¼ cups flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt into a bowl. Beat together eggs andsubar into bowl of electric mixer and medium-high until very thick and pale and mixture forms a ribbon when beater is lifted (about ten minutes). Reduce speed to low and add oil in a slow stream. Mix. Then mix in bananas, creme fraiche and vanilla.

Remove bowl from mixer and fold in flour mixture and walnuts. Divide batter between loaf pans, spreading evenly, and bake in middle of oven until golden brown and a wooden pick or skewer comes out clean (1 to 1¼ hours). Cool loaves in pans on a rack , then turn out onto rack. Turn loaves right side up and cool completely.

Recipe courtesy of the Flour Bakery in Boston, Massachusetts.

Now you can substitute sour cream for the creme fraiche if you need to, but why in the crap would you DO that!