Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Hum Buggery


It's raining and everything is so expensive and I have to write a math test in an hour. I HAVE to study but Im just staring out the window thinking about squirrels and how to make a cake with popping candy in it.
I think I'll have to put it in a ganache. Otherwise it will pop. Im not fond of today. I feel so stressed out. Someone come please do my dishes. The permanent odour of rot in here is going to push me off the edge. Bahhhhh.. I can't get organized, I don't have 10 minutes to myself. Except right now. So Im writing this. To get these thoughts out of me and lock them securely into this boring little blog. Blog blog blorgh.

I shouldn't complain because I love both school and work. Freakishly I dont even mind math.. It's just too much of a good thing sometimes, working full time and going to school. Money is stressful. I dont want to ride my bike in the rain. But on the bright side B-Bot got a job yesterday! As a fishmonger at a supermarket! Yayyyy! CONGRATS DUUUUUUDE!

Its pouring ridiculously hard outside. All I want to do is curl up in bed and read Wolverine comics and listen to The Smiths. But I have to go.. if I survive, I will write something with more sunshine in it later. For now, fuck it!

Cat Power - Schizophrenia's Weighted Me Down

The Smiths - Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want

RJD2 - Rain

Monday, September 29, 2008



Friday, September 19, 2008

Im Just So Angerous

My brother just told me, he isnt eating the yogurt in the fridge, because it is fruit bottom, and its too much work to stir it.

That makes me want to punch him in the face until he is dead.

ALSO I just bought cookbooks on Amazon. Internet buying is so dangerous.

ALSO I love putting pillows on my cat. Its so good. She looks extra cute. She is completely unfazed that there is a huge ol pillow just on her. Thats so good.

ALSO Cory is going to open a hamburger joint called "Turtle Burgers".

ALSO a flying buttress, or arc-boutant, is a specific type of buttress usually found on a religious building such as a cathedral. They are used to transmit the horizontal thrust of a vault across an intervening space (which might be an aisle, chapel or cloister), to a buttress outside the building.

ALSO thats a hilarious word.

ALSO it seems everything is really funny. And I was mad before. But then I looked at the cat with a pillow on her, an thought about turtle burgers, and the word "buttresses". Ahh man..

NOW Im going to go put a huge pillow on The Brother to see if that is funny too!


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Cous Cous in my Caboose

Cous Cous, in my caboose! Cous Cous, let it loose!

Del Tha Funkee Homosapien - Soopa Feen

JJ Grey and Mofro - Tragic
Black Moth Super Rainbow - Boatfriend
Gruff Rhys - Gwn Mi Wn
The Dead Science - Days of Future's Past

Well not really because I just ate it. That chant will only be accurate in a couple of hours. Im so addicted to this stuff. But Im crap at making it. If anyone has a decent cous cous recipe, please, by all means, send it my way!

I'm working on finding some kind of thing for this blog where you, my loyal millions of readers, (Hi Mom!), can leave a little note on the right hand side about your favourite bakery. I'm compiling a list and eventually I want to visit most of them. But the good ones first! So Ill figure out how to do that..

Anyway, in other news, Im still tired. But! Im going to sleep now. Work last night was exciting because I made the lemon curd! My favourite thing in the foodshop and IIII made it! It was awesome! Its so cool to come into work and see croissants that I rolled and lemon tarts that I had a hand in making. Feels good. I feel stong, and like I cant learn enough things fast enough. Ahhhh.. Good stuff.. anyway, sleep now, good blog times later. Ciao babies!


Friday, September 12, 2008

ooohh boy what have I done

Holy crap. Am I ever freakin' tired. There are literally, LITERALLY no joke, bags under the bags under my eyes. I think I have bitten off more croissant than I can chew going to school 7-3 and working 5 til midnight every day.. faaahkkkkk.. and this is only day #2...

Anyway aside from being achey and REALLY happy to be sitting in bed right now the last week has been so busy, so fun, so full of learning, dropping things, butter, and just... so much standing. Oh god. I'm off to lay with my feet in the air to let all the blood drain out of them.. see you.. sometime.......

Also I discovered burritos rock my world and I'm allergic to papaya. Ay ay ay!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

How ya like them apples?

Madolyn, if you're reading this, this is for you...

Today I went to work and ended up in a parade. My shoes are still full of wee white confetti's. I made poached rainbow trout with dill sauce, peaches and cream corn, beans and fresh ciabatta for my two lovely gentlemen for dinner tonight. It was freaking delicious. Im sleepy. Im going to see how far I can stick a Toblerone bar in my mouth and then see if I cant have some dreams about a giant sundae and Che Guevara. He was one hot mama. I could use a couple hours lost in a sexy communist ice cream extravaganza. Frooooom...

Oh also the Bro-Bot showed me this ages ago, a new idea for a Reality TV Show!

Ivor Cutler - Eagle.mp3

Friday, September 5, 2008


Julienne More!

Amanda Lear - Alphabet.mp3

New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream.mp3

Chubby Checker - Stoned In The Bathroom.mp3

The First Gear - Leave My Kitten Alone.mp3


Man.. I have the alphabet stuck in my head. Thats fucked up shit. Christ its annoying. Every so often I catch myself singing quietly "pqrstuv.. w x y and z".. GAH

Also. This Kitten is a problem. She's so fluffy. I can't handle it all the time. She's always laying around with her paws flopped over her big old furry belly and I just cant help but grab her around the middle and shake her all about. I'm going to injure this cat. I see a fat belly, I want to grab it and shake it around. Megan brought her baby Kalie over yesterday and the whole time I was restraining myself from just lunging and grabbing this pretty little frog shaped bean of a baby by its belly and shaking it wildly to and fro. I just want to pick up these cute chubby things and throw them out the window. I just want to punt them like a football. It's really not a good instinct. I would be a terrible monkey mom. I would just shake and shake my monkey babies until they got the Shaken Bacon Syndrome and died. Must be a messed up paragraph in the Romance novel that is my genetic code. Maybe I shouldn't volunteer to babysit anytime soon.

I made more fruit salad today in class! That was great. I got 84% on my carrot cutting skills. Not too bad. I peeled my finger. Too bad. I have 4 litres of fruit salad in my fridge. And 7 bags of expired French chocolate covered marshmallow bears in my fridge from work. It's just a lunatic amount marshmallow and diced fruits happening here. Someone come eat these with me! NOW

What else... uhhh nothing, really. Tomorrow is the Cabbagetown Festival, and I'm working, so its gonna be fecking crazy.

I'm thinking of cutting my hair short for school. Not short short, more like mid nineties teen heart throb Devon Sawa short. Yeah I think I can reclaim that look for myself. That creamy skin, that rogueish smile.. ah to be 13 again..

OH ALSO I'm learning about all these awesome places to go and eat baked goods and icecream, being in a class of 20-40 sweet addicts. I'm compiling a list and sometime this month I will post it, along with websites and addresses.

Sneak Peak:

The Marble Slab

The girls in class told me you go into this place, and theres mixings and fixings and chocolate everywhere. You pick your flavour of icecream, which is just icecream-- like the rocky road is chocolate and vanilla or whatever, the bubblegum is just pink--and THEN you pick all these things from the walls, your nuts your chocolates your god knows, sourballs and shit, and THEN

Heres where it gets fucking wild.

They take your icecream and smear it willy nilly all over this marble slab. And you're standing there watching, worried, panicking thing wtf are they doing with my icecream.. and they pile all your fixings on, and then mix i
t all up with metal spatulas and stick it on your cone! Its apparently the only way to eat icecream.

Awesome. I feel a Road Trip to New Market coming on..

ALSO I have found my Halloween Costume.

Thursday, September 4, 2008


I have such a thing for green glass... mm..

School was awesome today! KNIFE SKILLZ! I'm actually pretty comfortable with a knife, cuttin vegetables anyway. If I ever had to bone a fish I'd be in trouble. And desperate, I could do better, really...

Anyway.. Today we made fruit salad! I learned awesome techniques for cutting kiwi. You peel the skin down to the bottom and dont cut the line of peel off, continue all the way around until its wearing its own skin as a skirt. Then hold on to its skirt, quarter and slice the little bitch up!! CRAZY!

I learned how to cut carrots into julienne, brunoise, and dice, en dee, and mire poix, and batonettes! Tomorrow, I do it again!

Few things in life are as awesome as octopus hotdogs...

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

End of Confusion, Return of Inspiration

Good Crikey Im bushwacked! I mean I am just tuckered, pooped, knackered, kippered, pickled and plum slumberous.

My day was sooo good today. Even if it was just mostly going over course outlines. It felt good standing there in my cheffin' uniform, paying attention, taking NOTES even! I'm so damn keen.

I must tuck myself in now though because Ive to be up bright and early for Baking Theory followed by Baking Skillzzz where Chef Gonzales is gonna teach us knife skills! How to take care of our knives, and how to jullien, bernaise, and make awesome fruit salad without fingers or blood as garnish! KNIFE SKILLS!


Supergrass - Return of Inspiration.mp3

Yann Tiersen - Pas Se Simple.mp3

Apes & Androids - Creepy Girls.mp3

Muddy Waters - Mad Love (I Want You To Love Me).mp3

The Zombies - Is This The Dream.mp3

First Day Jitter Bugs

Okay, so, its my second day, and I'm already skipping class. As I type. Class is happening somewhere else. Not where I am. I am here. There is no class here. Oh. I'm a bad student!

I know I said Id blog about my first day! But it really wasn't much, just math class which was surprisingly good, then a fire alarm, and then Intro to Wine class was cancelled. And moved to today. At 8am. Hence the skippage. I'm not adverse to getting up at six but I couldnt sleep again til so late and I refused to be a zombie today for my FIRST BAKING SKILLS CLASS! WOOO!

So sacrifices had to be made!

Anyway, I'll tell you how it went today! IM SO EXCITED! Now Im off to drink eat some banana chips! Taroo!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Monday, September 1, 2008

Buzzard Custard

Oy veh. I have the biggest knot in my stomach. I'm hoping it goes away by tomorrow. Im going to write a blog about stuff to distract me from my anxiety about math class.

I've been having interesting dreams lately. Last night I dreamed I was Angelina Jolie working on a movie where I, Angelina, play some sort of ancient kinda roman soldier chick fighting a group of party animals in a submarine for some reason. I, she, we, were wearing this crazy gold roman suit with a red velvet cape and metal boots. Kind of Xena Warrior Princess meets 2,000 Leagues Under The Sea meets that scene in Alpha Dog where Ben Foster starts doing crazy kung fu at a party?

Recollection is hazy, but I remember kissing my opponents with my huge squishy Jolie lips before brutally murderizing them. It was a very vivid sensation.

The other most memorable dream this week actually made me late for work. I lived on Mars in the late 23rd century and Iggy Pop had just sent me a space invitation to be part of his massive intergalactic reunion tour. I had gained some notoriety around 2050 a.d on smaller planets who didn't get Universal Televisual Satellite for my raucous stage antics and he wanted me to put on a good show. I go where Iggy Pop beckons. Anyway, it didnt actually end up happening because I was getting a ride from my dad's space shuttle and he was over a year and a half late, and the journey back to earth took atleast 3 years providing there's no solar flares or much meteor traffic. So that was a bust. And then my alarm went off and I had to literally run to work.

I blame too much futurama for that last one.. it was a great dream though, very colourful and glittery. Things both dreams have in common.. celebrities.. an unusual form transportation.. shiny metal.. kicking ass.. I'm not Freud but that sounds okay to me!

I feel like this right now.. I feel facedown.. Not sure what that means, but there it is! Flomp.

The Day Before

*scholar scholar scholar*

Holy smokes, I cant believe my first day of school is tomorrow!! Waaaahhhhhhh

It's wholly strange, having to go to school again, for some reason. I'm so, feckin, excited. I just wish my first class at chef school wasn't going to be math. But then thats followed by Intro To Wine so that should wash away any math brain abrasions I will have sustained in the 2 hours of extrapolation and quantifying. Wash it away with sweet burgundy joy...

Last night at midnight the Bro-Bot and I went on a mad hunt for nice bread so we could have a lazy day highlighted with delicious french toast, whipped cream and peaches. But everything that sells fresh bread is closed at midnight! Travesty. So we shall have to settle for peaches and pancakes.

C-Section got into a fight on his first night at The Courthouse. He was just at the hospital for ages waiting for his fellow bouncer who got schlogged in the noggin. Just kept repeating the same question for 4 hours aparently, forgetting that he had asked it. The fight broke up when C. whipped out his 21" steel extendable baton and they scattered. Ya know, I made fun of him for buying that a couple of days ago, but thank god. Also it looks pretty fuckin badass, which is hot. So thats exciting..

Brother B and I went -- HOLY FUCK THE KITTEN FUCKING STINKS. Holy jesus. Wow. An impressive waft. Wow. Maybe I should change her food... thats not a smell that should come out of such a small animal. Anyway. We went back to school shopping together, which was fun, and I got sweet new steel toe'd boots and a backpack with slots for my knives. I LOVE that my back to school supplies are steel toes shoes and knives. Won't be afraid walking home up Sherbourne thats for sure. Actually I probably still will be...

Waiting in line at the grocery store carrying cumin, bananas, banana chips and soy milk Bobby randomly asked me what I was thinking about and I said "Sippy Cups. I saw a sippy cup, and just kept saying sippy cup in my head over and over for a little while. And then I laughed in my head to myself." I thought it was an apt moment for him to ask. Good insight into my mind. An echoeous cavern.

Echoeous is a word! What the shit!

Anyway, thats whats been happening, just wanted to write it down so I could read it later and remember and chuckle and the ol' memories being made. I'll tell you how school went tomorrow. WOOOOOOHOOO