Saturday, January 31, 2009

Hourly Comic Day Eve!

Alright. Okay. EEEE. Okay. Calm Down. Okay. I'm gonna do it. I really am going to do this. Tomorrow. So it is written, so shall it be done.

Hourly Comic Day

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Happy Birthday Fredgers!

I have a birthday wish for you
to use your natural aspects
(your natural gas duct)
to ignite fireworks in the sky
that write with brilliant shining light
(and a bit of poo smell)
"Come all, come near,
there's a party up in here!"

It is late, but it's from the butt. I mean heart! Besides, you know how tardy I am anyway. Hope it was a good day, I'm glad you had cake all up in your face.

Love, Kara

Plastic in the Nineties

Facets of the Kara Diamond
Episode: The Toys of '96

This is my favourite action figure. I don't really have to explain why, do I? Storm rules. If I was a Bodysnatcher I'd snatch hers. Her only flaw was that her feet were twice the size of her head for some reason.. still hot though.

And THIS! Was my favourite one to play with! Not sure what exactly this dude did on the Seaquest DSV (due to not noticing anything in it that wasn't Jonathan Brandis preee-owhowhow).

In my world though he was Hank. He lived in a cave and invented weapons for my siblings' toys to use against each other. Look at this sauve mother fucker. Sweet leather coat, suspenders, rockin' metal boots, round glasses, a fucking HARPOON *AND* a monkey butler. My dream man.

And these were my favourite toys that weren't for playing. Fox "The Fox" Mulder and Dana "Because They Came In A Set" Scully. NO TOUCHING! They just posed on my stereo and looked cool while I threw down my shit to Dance Mix 95'.

So what the hell was your favourite then, plumpants?

Sunshine, Moviestar: Sweet Dreams!

I can't even be bothered to slice my bread today. Fuck it, I'm just chunking it off! CHUNK CHUNK CHUNK.

I am a forceful chunker.

Dear Internet,

Today was a pleasant day. Filled with carrot cake and marzy-pan roses. On the way home an old lady stopped to tell me how important it is to wear my gloves and wool socks. Always always I must keep my body warm. And when that time of the month comes, when that most painful time comes, I must mix ginger in boiling water with a bit of brandy and everything will be okay. She also advised me to love my mother and to avoid breaking my hip. Nice!

Yesterday a Rastafarian on some sort of chemical mood enhancement system told me that he is going to call me Emily. In the park a giant stinking man that reminded me of th
e clown from Spawn The Movie tried to steal my lemon chiffon cake. His breath smelled like some corpse left to rot in the sun.


I may or may not have to be at work in 4 minutes. By the time I find out I shall already be late.


P.S Your mom officially now looks better in jeans than Jessica Simpson.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Ox Time!


My Sunday was spent somewhere in the jungles of North York with my chum Jordan doin' all sorts of crazy things as kids as we may do. We wandered through this giant Chinese Mall- The Pacific Mall- and pretty much just ate every random neat sounding sweet thing we saw. INCLUDING but not restricted to...

- Moomin' fruit candies

- Grape KitKat bars

- Dragon Beard candy: kind of like cotton candy if it
were made of white thread

- Honeysuckle and Chrysanthemum tea

- Chinese soy juice boxes

- Bubble Tea ooouu sexy sexy!a

- A fine assortment of buns

- Glutinous rice products of various colours and descriptions

Ah it was a fine time indeed. The sugar is still whirling around in my bloodstream a full day later. We had lunch in a very busy food court with specials like "sharks fin and sea cucumber"- awesome. Later we ate a little snack of ice cream balls beside an old woman. I was tempted by illegal pirated dvds but was not moved to commit a felony for the latest Guy Pierce RomComDramedy. The man just has a strange face, it's all I'm saying. Is this a handsome?


What was I saying.. Oh yes. There was a store that just sold miniature clay versions of popular dishes such as very tiny bowls of rice and prawns and minuscule steamed rice buns. And so many babies! The hardest thing was trying to walk around the mall while hundreds of thousands of Chinese babies raced around my feet and old ladies pushed me along out of their way. Okay it that didn't happen so much. I just like visualizing that.

Anyway, it was an awesome day. Now I am off to eat a piece of cake and sit on my cat!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

JCVD vs. The Ocean

Man did Jean Claude Van Damme ever have his ass handed to him by Maple Fudge. Maybe now this obscure Canadian homosexual icon of the wrestling world will get some recognition.

Sorry about that last blog ending so hastily, I know it was riveting stuff. When you gotta go, you gotta go. I bought some things green! Hurray!

The stuff I INTENDED on blogging about was mostly to do with, my goals. I'm like a small bird, I'm easily distracted by shiny things and food people have dropped on the ground. I have to set goals or nothing gets done. I keep two lists. The first is a list of passing fancies, things that I would love to happen but if they dont its no big deal. And the second is a Set In Stone far reaching list of awesome that I must accomplish in my life. In the last two years I pretty much accomplished everything I set out to, with a certain amount of trial and error and deportation in between. Now I need to make a new one. I have been working on one for about 2 weeks now, and I'm proud to say I'm almost halfway done!

Lime Blossom Tea - Done! Ordered it online from Britain, it's at my family's house!
Gym - Done! Signed up and went for a swim, bingo bango!
Quark - Done! Saw some in the supermarket, made it into a custard and put it in an apple coffee cake!
Miracle Berries
Pay off Mastercard - Done! Painful.
Peru - Not happening....
Bathing Suit - Done!
Opera tickets - I bought tickets to the freaking opera! How sauve.
Nice pan
French Press - WON one in a raffle at work! Actually I won 4lbs of shrimp but traded a guy for them.
Truffle Honey Madeleines
Go for proper English Tea
Clean Floors - Done!
Read More - Done! Reading so much!
EAT MORE GREEN - working on it...

I vow to finish the rest of these by next week!

Snotty Bitch

Only Nazi's hate their veggies.

Holy God am I ever ill. I mean, I am one snotty bitch. I am raining boogers. I don't need a doctor, I need a plumber! Know what I mean! L0l0RZ

For now though I am a cozy snotmonster tucked under a quilt tootin' my snoot. I'm gingerly sipping gingerale with a stack of books as my bed mate, two tufts of Kleen-ex pertruding out of my nose and thoughts wavering from feverish to nonsensical to pornographic back to nonsensical. I've been awake off and on for the last 48 hours or so, and when I havent been in the bath I've been reading about food. I'm devouring "On Food and Cooking" by Harold McGee. I've only read the sections on molecules and dairy but it's so fascinating and Im so distressed we don't learn more food history and nutrition at a young age.

I've also come to the conclusion that for a vegetarian, I really do not eat enough vegetables. So that's going to change. Starting tonight I am going to buy some things green and some things orange and I am going to make a soup, god damn it.

My random meanderings through what I can only refer to as "The Internet" has led me many exciting places this evening! OooUUU Fun! Some of them I won't being sharing but I stumbled across a super cute raw food chick from Down Under on youtube and developed a severe girlcrush which prompted more probing into the Raw Food diet deal. Here's a link to RawDownUnder having an orgasm over a smoothie. It's so nice to watch someone be so excited and passionate about a papaya. Wonderful. So I'm thinking of doing a 100 day Raw Food challenge for myself to see how it makes me feel. Due to being a veg and having little time to spend on food my diet has become mostly raw anyway.. mostly apples, a gaggle of soy products and yogurt.. and pizza.. have to research whether or not pizza is raw... better be.

Fuck it's 9:21 I have to pick up Bro-Bot from work. More on this fascinating ramble, later...

Same batshit time, same batshit channel Y'ALL!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Back like Jamaican Bacon!

Hi. Hi there. Hello. o. o. o.

Remember me? Kara? La la la? Etc?

Yeah, it's me. Perhaps you had given up hope, or hoped I had given up, but I have returned to you, Blog o'mine!

It's a beautiful day!

Actually it's not, its -31 fucking degrees out and Im sitting here faced with the very real possibility of having to deal with going out into that bright, loud, frozen urban hell. All I own is t-shirts. So I've put my warmest one on, anyway. It has a rocket ship on it and a bit of fire graphics happening down around the upper naval area so that is pretty toasty. Gahhhh

So yeah, I guess I should address the fact that Ive fucked off for oh about, two months? Well I won't because I dont have to explain myself to you peasents.

Things I have learned in the last couple of months.
  • How do say "hello" "goodbye" and "6" in Tamil.
  • That Mexico is quickly becoming the most dangerous part of the Caribbean.
  • Barfing noodle soup out your nose hurts like a motherbitch.
  • Exercise is hard, eating cake is much easier.
  • Drinking beer before class is great.
  • I'm very good at beating large blocks of frozen butter into flat disks with a large tube of wood. So if you ever need your butter beaten, je suis votre fille!
  • Don't eat lobster brains, the black dots will make you very sick.
  • It is very hard to imagine reality as a series of one dimensional oscillating lines without getting paranoid and reading celebrity gossip websites to calm down and refocus. Lilly Allen has a third nipple OMG!
  • I'm 24 now! Thats new!
So that about brings you up to speed!

Here is a song that is nice and relevant to the time being.

Hands in Pockets - Laura Gibson