Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Sunshine, Moviestar: Sweet Dreams!

I can't even be bothered to slice my bread today. Fuck it, I'm just chunking it off! CHUNK CHUNK CHUNK.

I am a forceful chunker.

Dear Internet,

Today was a pleasant day. Filled with carrot cake and marzy-pan roses. On the way home an old lady stopped to tell me how important it is to wear my gloves and wool socks. Always always I must keep my body warm. And when that time of the month comes, when that most painful time comes, I must mix ginger in boiling water with a bit of brandy and everything will be okay. She also advised me to love my mother and to avoid breaking my hip. Nice!

Yesterday a Rastafarian on some sort of chemical mood enhancement system told me that he is going to call me Emily. In the park a giant stinking man that reminded me of th
e clown from Spawn The Movie tried to steal my lemon chiffon cake. His breath smelled like some corpse left to rot in the sun.


I may or may not have to be at work in 4 minutes. By the time I find out I shall already be late.


P.S Your mom officially now looks better in jeans than Jessica Simpson.

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