Friday, February 27, 2009

Some of my friends are Straight Edge



Ha. Fucking excellent.

Man. I'm bushwhacked. I worked two shifts today in my respective foodly areas; food shop and pastry department. Around 7pm my uniform magically turns from black to white causing everyone around me great confusion. "Is black Kara the same as white Kara? Why is she different? Why isnt everything the same still? Is white Kara going to hurt me? WHY ARE MY PANTS SO WET!?"

Before that my morning consisted of such adult duties as doing my taxes and switching to a high interest savings account. WAAAHHHDeeeattthhhhhh..

NOW I am drinking white wine out of a dirty mug, texting B-Bot to bring home some pop, and.. yeah.. I thought so. I smell like a meat pie.

OH! Yesterday I saw a dead thing! Tra la la! Death and taxes, d00d.

It was a dead cat. I knew this cat too, this was a cat friend of mine. Only last night it looked not like a cat but like a cat shaped object. It was very strange. What used to be a chubby angel faced kitt-o was suddenly horizontal, stiff and missing half it's angel face. I saw her eyeball in its entirety. Never having seen a dead thing before I was surprised by my realistic reaction. I felt horror! Real life horror! It was like.. fear and paranoia and gross all missed together. Mostly paranoia. I ran home convinced this was an omen of my doom and destruction. A coffee cup blew into my foot while I was running and I made a bit of poo in my pants thinking it was The Devil come to cut a hole in me from which to take out my soul for keeps. Phoo..
Big day for me..

Now I'm going to have some pop and dream about punching you in the face. SEE YOU, FOOLS!


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Troutfaced Lollygagger


Knaan ft. Mos Def & Chali 2na - America

Passion Pit - Cuddle Fuddle


The Clash - Jimmy Jazz

Orange Juice - Rip It Up

Al Hirt - Clarinet Marmalade


SUP, FOOLISH?

Yeah, thats right. I called you a fool. Show some respect!

Literally demanding respect, gains respect.

RESPECT ME!!!

So I'm at home, homes. In Barrie, itching from dog danders and poorly painting the odd piece of wood or wall. I felt like writing a blog but my family feels like playing cards.

ABANDABALON'ED!!!!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Womp Pillow




Madeleine Peyroux - You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go


Marissa Nadler - Loner


Swan Lake - Spider

I rode my bike home after work tonight clutching a paper bag against my handlebar. Hiding inside was a steamy apple croissant freshly stolen from the oven for my brother. Fresh air and french pastries make my soul smile quietly in my stomach. I'm so very ready for this upcoming reading week.

Pheeeeeoooowwww...

"Swan Lake" reminds me of when I was obsessed with the name Odette from Swan Lake. I named my Barbie Odette and she ran a used clothing store called "Denim & Lace". Both denim and lace were hot in the early 90's apparently...

I am now going to harrass the cat.



Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Maxin' and Relaxin'


The Honey Trees - Edelweiss

Lucy and the Caterpillar - Beans on Toast


Kay Pettigrew - Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Keren Ann - Lay Your Head Down


Why don't you lay your head down, in my arms, in my arms...

I've just come home from a tea tasting and am zen'd up and zoned out.

A demo was put on at the school by the fellow who owns Oikos Teas. Entirely organic, tip top quality, strictly Ceylon teas. He travels to Sri Lanka, watches them pick and dry the tea and tastes it on premises then has it couriered to him in small batches. Unfortunately he doesnt have a website or an online shop, which is a serious problem.

I actually know him from the shop as well, he comes in and buys croissants often. He's a very soft spoken Sri Lankan man who is passionately in love with tea. I love listening to him talk, something about him makes me feel very calm. It was such a nice, relaxing time. He recognized me and loaded me up with exactly one buttload of some of the finest black tea available. I've now got a jar of broken pekoe flowery fanning.. something? I don't know the grading system, it's made up, old fashioned gobbledgook anyway apparently. We tried a black tea that was so dark it looked like coffee in the pot. It smelled like summer and left a green ring of chlorophyl in the cup. We sipped on gentle silver needle white tea and a very unique looking green tea called "twisted nail". Mmph. Lovely.

Speaking of tea I accomplished something from my To Do list from a while ago. My Linden tree tea arrived from the UK and my gosh is it lovely. I'm usually not one for tisane but this is so mellow and sweet. Maz remind me and I'll bring you some of these sometime!

Also, last night, I went to the Opera. Lah-Dee-Fuckin-Dah eh! I rode my bike there and wore a t-shirt and jeans, but they let me in anyway, the suckers. I had a date, with Amanda, and we had a splendid time. We saw Dvorak's Rusalka and it was really quite out of sight.

AND today in class we made petit four glace, which is the most pretentious of all small pastries!
I've had such a high class couple of days. You're so jealous of my tiny cake making, tea slurping, opera viewing ass. You don't have to admit to it, I know it.

On a more down to earth note, this evening I made country fried steak, black eyed peas'n rice, and corn on the cob. It was more or less successful. I find cooking meat to be problematic. Cory looked like he was chewing on a rawhide but insisted it was fine.. gorm..

ALSO! SHIT! I forgot to call home. Sorry you guys. I got home at 9:30 and have been dicking around since. Oops. I'll call tomorrow, I swear! Maybe... probably.. no promises.. I get distracted by things.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. Goodnight moon, Goodnight blog.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Honey Songs


We got too much time to kill
like pigeons on my windowsill
we hang around


This apartment is lacking in the sweet stuff. I'm forced to get my quick fix from a squirt bottle of honey. When the sticky sweet hits my tongue I get goosebumps. I admit it will do the trick, until I can get a hit of Cadbury's.

An impromptu verse!


Rot Face

From outer space

Come over to my place
And do my dishes.

Wow that blew...
I'd do a haiku

if I knew how to

But I don't so fuck off

Bahhhh I don't want to do my homework, baaahhhhhhhhh. Here's some honey themed music for distraction.


Headless Heroes - Just Like Honey

Black Joe Lewis & The Honey Bears - Bitch I Love You


Amy Honey - Farley Mowat

Arthur Lewis - Honey & The Moon

And one of my favourite songs of all time..

Fats Waller - Honeysuckle Rose


Today was a most excellent day. It started off with making pancakes for breakfast with coffee AND orange juice, what luxury! Loafing about watching the X-Files. Sunny bike rides through the deserted city. Sitting on metal cows in the middle of the financial district. Chai lattes and talk of traveling away. Eating taco bell IN the theatre while watching a horror movie. Hair stroking and holding fingers in the dark. It was an idyllic few days actually.

We did our Valentines day schazzmo on Friday the 13th. Eating spicy stuff at the same Malabari restaurant we went to last year. This time it was packed which was really nice to see. We went cavorting through Honest Ed's and C-Word bought me a sweet saucier for sauciering things!

On V-Day we took the streetcar to China Town and had Chinese Lobster with Jordan. I watched the boys mow down on lobster carcass while I nibbled gingerly on some stir fried watercress. You could watch the waiters catch your lobster from a tank before you ate it. A large Grouper I nick named Thomas Dolby swam in one place staring at me with a look of discontent while I ate. After dinner we LITERALLY ran away from Jordan to catch a streetcar. He stood at the intersection waving goodbye, carrying a retro tennis bag filled with a mandolin. That night we laid naked in bed shoving chocolate into our mouths and drinking rye and cokes. Beautiful.

Now though I'm faced with the reality of coming back to a trashed apartment to eat honey out of the bottle for dinner and hover frowning over the pile of dishes in the sink. Boo!

BOO!

Anyway I have to do some homework, so bugger off will you.

Old Fashioned Pancakes
  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 tablespoon white sugar
  • 1 1/4 cups milk
  • 1 egg
In a large bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. Make a well in the center and pour in the milk, egg and melted butter; mix until smooth.

Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake. Brown on both sides and serve hot.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Oh my



I should never have kids, because I WILL put them on drugs for shits and giggles.

Also put headphones on and listen to this, it's BLOWING MINDS!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Baha



Now I can stop being berated constantly for not knowing how to operate a blanket! Finally my bruises will have time to heal!

Chocowokko


Munched on this on the train home from Oakville yesterday. I bought this in a British themed store in Bronte Village. Cadbury milk chocolate with cookie bits and cherry jellies. Not awesome, but apparently good enough to eat an entire bar without blinking. Bahhh.

Also these are pretty cute.


Bon Appetito, Peppito


YOU CAN'T!

Eventually while typing Tuesday I will write Toesday. And I snicker when that beautiful little deviation occurs. Toesday. Imagine!

Today in baking class, we made cakes. Quelle fucking soo-preez. Buttercream and vanilla sponge celebration cakes. I shall take a picture tomorrow for showing off my tasty cakes.

I used to hate it when people randomly inserted french words into their vernacular. Is it a Canadian thing?

My own bed hasnt been slept in by my own self in four nights. Which feels great, cause my bed has all kinds of crap on it. Books and chocolate bar wrappers, that sort of thing. I was off visiting home! I spent the majority of my time in the kitchen cooking away with my mom as my sous chef.

I made all this stuff:

Proscuitto Wrapped Chicken with
Asiago Cheese, Roasted Red Pepper and Baby Spinach

  • 4 large boneles, skinless chicken breasts
    (or 8 small ones, hammered flat and used together)
  • 1 roasted red pepper
  • small bunch of baby spinach
  • 1 cup asiago cheese, grated
  • 8 slices of proscuitto
For the Red Pepper:

Set oven to broil. Quarter the red pepper and place on a tray on the top rack. Remove when the skin has turned black and immediately transfer to a plastic bag. Set aside for 10-15 minutes and then peel off the skin.

For the Chicken:

Preheat oven to 375°F.

Lay down 2 slices of the prosciutto, overlapping them slightly along their long edge, to form a large rectangle.

Place a chicken breast lengthwise at the short end and slit it open along one side to create a wide pocket. Stuff the pocket with spinach leaves, a slice of roasted red pepper and cheese. Roll up tightly with the proscuitto. Repeat with remaining chicken breasts.

Place on a baking sheet, seam side down and bake until golden and cooked through, about 15 minutes.

Cheesy Pea Risotto

  • 8 cups chicken stock
  • 3 onions or shallots, peeled and chopped
  • 3 tbsp olive oil
  • 2 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
  • 2 cups Arborio rice
  • 1 cup white wine *optional
  • 1 cup frozen peas
  • 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
  • Salt and pepper
Heat chicken stock in a saucepan.

In another medium saucepan, sauté the onions or shallots with the olive oil over medium high heat until softened.

Add garlic and Arborio rice and stir until the grains are well coated with oil and slightly toasted, about 3 minutes.

Add wine if you have any. Stir until the wine has been absorbed by the rice.

Begin adding the heated stock, one ladle-full at a time, allowing it to be absorbed by the rice, before adding more.

Continue adding stock, stirring frequently until the risotto is tender and creamy.

Season with salt and pepper and add peas and cheese. Stir well.


Brown Sugar Angel Food Cake
  • 1 1/2 cups cake flour
  • 1 1/4 cups packed light brown sugar
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 14 large egg whites
  • 1 teaspoon cream of tartar
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1/4 teaspoon almond extract

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Sift together the flour, brown sugar and salt twice onto a piece of waxed paper or parchment.

In an electric mixer, whip the egg whites on low speed until frothly. Add the cream of tartar, increase the speed , and whip until the whites hold soft peaks. Whip in the vanilla and almond extracts.

Transfer the white to a large mixing bowl. Sift the flour and brown sugar mixture over the whites in three additions, folding them in with a large flat rubber spatula.

Turn the batter into an ungreased 12-cup angel food cake pan. Bake for 20 minutes, or until the cake springs back when touched.

* My gram had a non-stick angel food cake pan so I just lightly greased the pan and coated it in white sugar so the cake would have something to grab on to while it was raising.

Remove from the oven, invert the mold, and let cool in the pan. Run a thin knife around the sides of the pan. Unmold the cake.


"Frenched" Whipped Cream with Hazelnut Praline Dust

  • 2 cups whipping cream
  • 1 cup custard
Whip the whipped cream up to stiff peaks, carefully fold in custard.

Hazelnut Praline
  • 1 cup hazelnuts
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 1/2 cup water
Line baking tray with aluminum foil, shiny side up. Bake hazelnuts on the tray at 400 degrees until nicely toasted and wonderful smelling.

Boil the sugar and water until it turns a golden caramel colour. Pour out over the hazelnuts, coating every one. Once hardened, pull it off the tray and pulse in a food processor until almost dust.

Add to whipped cream.

Blob generously on angel food cake and make obscene noises.


Thursday, February 5, 2009

Spicy Ferret, Smoking Crab



Ooooh noooooo.. I think this months official blog topic has become "bizarre instances of animal abuse"...


Get off the set!


THE KITTEN GOT SHAVED!

Ha haaaa hilarious.

Today while I was waiting at an intersection a man ran out of a coffee shop to shake my hand and ask me how much I paid for my bicycle. I felt a certain amount of chargin at the probability that answering this question would lead to the theft of my bike. For a moment I was absolutely certain I was going to have to stab this toothless cunt right there in the street and ruin my day. I've never stabbed a dude before. Instead I just shook his hand and said "A fair penny, sir!" and rode off in the opposite direction I wanted to go. As fast as I could.

Yellow Fever - Hellfire
Blockhead - Cheer Up You're Not Dead
The Cansecos - Raised By Wolves
Destroyer - Foam Hands
Antony and the Johnsons - Twilight

My dietary habits today:

Breakfast: coffee and a brownie
Lunch: pint of beer
Dinner: fuzzy peaches, salt and vinegar chips and a Lindt chocolate bar

Oy veh.

The lindt chocolate bar and fuzzy peaches were a present from my excellent brother who also gifted me a set of salt and pepper shakers. He said he thought I would like them because they are very very small, and chubby. He was so right.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Hourly Comic Day!


A comic for every hour of today

for Hourly Comic Day 2009.

Every hour except 11pm, cause I'm sleepy, damn it.

Goodnight!

Also you can see other people's hourly comics here.


7am: rude awakening...


8am: water rituals


9am: breakfast with the usual suspects;
Cory and the fine gents at Johnny G's


10am: cupcake expedition
(this was actually my homework, to eat cake)
* Editors Note: Cory's Scarf is triangular, not rectangular.
I have been informed he has never and will never wear
a rectangular scarf. What a freaking fashionista.


11am: Operation Cupcake Munch
TREMENDOUS FAILURE!


12pm: napping, whispering sweet pizza themed nothings
1pm: watching episode two of the Fringe and
being confused by its non science.
Apparently only one arm of my sweater is white.

2pm: eating clementines in the park on my way home
3pm: crackers for lunch with my kitchen pigeon

4pm: tracing over pencil comics with dark markers
5pm: surfing the world wide web on the internet
6pm: eating some marshmallows I found
7pm: Tom Cruise is batshit crazy
8pm: sippin' orange pekoe in my peacock mug
9pm: snarfing Ocean Spray™ cranberries and
discovering mystery wound

10pm: soup is good food


Pssffttt..

Tom Cruise, ladies and gentlemen.